Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. This can lead to a number of dangerous situations which can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many young
children
use the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
for socialization without supervision.
Children
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
threaten
Wrong verb form
threatened
show examples
in
serveral
Correct your spelling
several
dangerous situations,
for
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
cyberbullying or
exposing
Replace the word
exposure
show examples
to inappropriate and disturbing content.
This
essay shares the hazardous scenarios that pose a risk to
children
and the suggested solutions. Cyberbullying is one of the common
threat
Fix the agreement mistake
threats
show examples
would be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
faced by younger if there is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of monitoring when they
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
. If bullying
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
, young people
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
being mean or rude online.
This
would happen on different
channel
Fix the agreement mistake
channels
show examples
or
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
with negative
comment
Fix the agreement mistake
comments
show examples
, impolite
message
Fix the agreement mistake
messages
show examples
or mean online communication.
Victums
Correct your spelling
Victims
of cyberbullying may experience a wide range of negative emotions including but not limited to sadness, anger, fear, and embarrassment. Even more, they would have
emtional
Correct your spelling
emotional
health
problem
Change the noun form
problems
show examples
such
as
dispression
Correct your spelling
depression
, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. Another hazardous
circumstances
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstance
show examples
that
pose
Correct subject-verb agreement
poses
show examples
a threat to
children
is
exposed
Replace the word
exposure
show examples
to inappropriate and disturbing content
then
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
in a substantial impact on the psychological development and conduct of youngsters. It can increase anxiety, sensitivity to violent situations, and harmful attitudes toward relationships and self-image. Installing an
internet
activity monitoring software
leading to
Verb problem
will
show examples
solve the mentioned
dangrous sutiation
Correct your spelling
dangerous situation
online and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
create a healthy
internet
browsing environment. The software should detect harmful and inappropriate
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
with
alarm
Correct article usage
an alarm
show examples
trigger for parent notification. Tracking and keeping
log
Add an article
a log
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
the online activities
facailates
Correct your spelling
facilitates
the root cause tracing if necessary.
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
show examples
is rich
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
and
innoviation
Correct your spelling
innovation
,
however
, it
also
brings harassment if not
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
properly, especially for
children
who are not yet mature. In order to prevent those dangerous conditions,
incuding cyberbulling
Correct your spelling
including cyberbullying
and exposure to inappropriate and disturbing
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
monitoring software is
recommanded
Correct your spelling
recommended
for installation so as to ensure a healthy digital environment for
Add an article
the youngster
a youngster
show examples
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
.
Submitted by sangelamami on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout, with each paragraph focusing on a single main point. Avoid abrupt transitions between ideas and ensure that the flow of your argument is easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are key components of an essay. They should not only be present but also effectively encapsulate the main points of the essay. Your introduction and conclusion need to be more precise and better connected to the rest of the content.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with relevant examples or evidence. Your essay should include clear examples that illustrate the problems and solutions you're discussing. This will make your arguments more convincing and coherent.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. Ensure that you provide a complete response to each question asked, and fully develop your ideas with clarity and depth. It seems that you need to further elaborate on the problems faced by children and the solutions which can be implemented. Be specific in your approach for higher scores.
task achievement
Your ideas should be clear and comprehensive. Use precise language and develop your arguments sufficiently. Take care to express your points in a way that is easily understandable and detailed enough to convey a strong argument or analysis.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to support your points. This strengthens your writing by providing concrete details and giving the reader a better understanding of the issues at hand. The examples should directly relate to the problems faced by children online and the proposed solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: