IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

the charts below give information on the ages of the populations of yemen and italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. summarize the information and make comparison. wrtie at least 150 words.

the charts below give information on the ages of the populations of yemen and italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. summarize the information and make comparison. wrtie at least 150 words.
#information #ages #populations #yemen #projections #comparison #wrtie
The pie charts
displays
Change the verb form
display
show examples
 the
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 of various
age
 groups in the
years
 2000 and 2050 of two different countries Yemen and Italy. The
overall
 data shows that the young generation is
being decreased
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
and there is a rise in the
age
 of
middle
Add an article
the middle
show examples
group
.
Firstly
 in Yemen, half of the
population
 was covered by 0-14
years
 in 2000, over the
years
 being increased the young
age
group
 has decreased to 37%
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the year 2050. Ages 15-59 lies between 46
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2000 and there is less amount of
people
 who are above 60
years
while
 compared to the future there is a slight increase in
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
group
 of 15-59 with a
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of 57.3 and above 60
age
group
 has a small increase in the
population
. In Italy, the
age
group
 of youth and adults has more than half of the
population
, 24
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of old
people
 and less than
one fourth
Add a hyphen
one-fourth
show examples
 of
people
 in 2000,
while
 comparing
this
 to 2050 the
older
Correct quantifier usage
number of older
show examples
age
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increased to 42% and the adults and youth
age
group
 is being decreased to 46
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Comparing the two countries the 15 to 59
age
group
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 more
population
 than any other
age
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
 in 2000 and it is being increased to more in 2050.
Submitted by akitirishika on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years, group, population, percent, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: