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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the charts below give information on the ages of the populations of yemen and italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. summarize the information and make comparison. wrtie at least 150 words.

the charts below give information on the ages of the populations of yemen and italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. summarize the information and make comparison. wrtie at least 150 words.
#information #ages #populations #yemen #projections #comparison #wrtie
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The pie charts
displays
Change the verb form
display
show examples
 the
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 of various
age
Use synonyms
 groups in the
years
Use synonyms
 2000 and 2050 of two different countries Yemen and Italy. The
overall
Linking Words
 data shows that the young generation is
being decreased
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
and there is a rise in the
age
Use synonyms
 of
middle
Add an article
the middle
show examples
group
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
 in Yemen, half of the
population
Use synonyms
 was covered by 0-14
years
Use synonyms
 in 2000, over the
years
Use synonyms
 being increased the young
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 has decreased to 37%
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the year 2050. Ages 15-59 lies between 46
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2000 and there is less amount of
people
Use synonyms
 who are above 60
years
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 compared to the future there is a slight increase in
Use synonyms
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 of 15-59 with a
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of 57.3 and above 60
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 has a small increase in the
population
Use synonyms
. In Italy, the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of youth and adults has more than half of the
population
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, 24
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of old
people
Use synonyms
 and less than
one fourth
Add a hyphen
one-fourth
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in 2000,
while
Linking Words
 comparing
this
Linking Words
 to 2050 the
older
Correct quantifier usage
number of older
show examples
age
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increased to 42% and the adults and youth
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 is being decreased to 46
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Comparing the two countries the 15 to 59
age
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group
Use synonyms
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 more
population
Use synonyms
 than any other
age
Use synonyms
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
 in 2000 and it is being increased to more in 2050.
Submitted by akitirishika on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years, group, population, percent, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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