IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In the modern world¬, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing. Do you agree or disagree?

In
Add an article
the advance
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advance
Replace the word
advanced
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world
Add a comma
world,
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 there is no need to depend on
animals
Use synonyms
 for
diet
Use synonyms
 and medication and
dresses
Fix the agreement mistake
dress
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay totally agrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement because there are many options to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 requirements and
due to
Linking Words
 advancements in technology Many
people's
Unnecessary verb
people
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nowadays are vegetarian they completely depend on vegetables for their
diet
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 healthy and complete balance
diet
Use synonyms
 because all the
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of necessary nutrients we can get from different kinds of fruits and green
leafs
Correct your spelling
leaves
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 like minerals vitamins and protein .
moreover
Linking Words
 we can
also
Linking Words
 get medicational properties from variants
hurbs
Correct your spelling
herbs
 and shrubs .MAny people quit the usage of beef mutton and milk and their
diet
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 living
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
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life
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
for
Capitalize word
For
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 example
a
Remove the article
apply
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research by
American
Correct article usage
the American
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 health society
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
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 that people who consume less
carbohydrates containing
Correct your spelling
carbohydrate-containing
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 food are less likely to get cardiovascular disease.
Hence
Linking Words
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 proof that for living
life
Use synonyms
 there is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 option. Other than
animals
Use synonyms
. With the growing technology each and
every
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
thing
Correct your spelling
everything
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 is made easy peasy for humans
like
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there are many companies which produce synthetic leather which is not made
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the skin of
animals
Use synonyms
.on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ther
Correct your spelling
the
 hand pharmaceutical companies
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been growing rapidly and making medicines from the combination of plants and chemicals .
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 a company
im
Correct your spelling
in
 America made
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
insulin in labs which had been made by the
intestine
Fix the agreement mistake
intestines
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 of
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many years .Each and every thing is available in
market
Add an article
the market
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 having
complete
Correct article usage
a complete
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 package so it is
prove
Correct your spelling
proven
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 that there is no need to use
animals
Use synonyms
 to live
life
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 era . In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
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although
Linking Words
animals
Use synonyms
 provide many benefits
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
there are many alternatives to
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 healthy and long
life
Use synonyms
 without them and in
forecoming
Correct your spelling
forthcoming
 there will be no need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 class .

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical progression of ideas. An effective organization structure should include clear paragraphs, each introducing a new idea and progressing smoothly to the next. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be used to maintain flow.
coherence cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present, both lack a clear thesis statement and summarization of main points, respectively. Make sure your introduction sets out the argument clearly, and your conclusion effectively summarizes the points made without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Main points are not adequately supported by specific examples and explanations. For a higher score, substantiate each point with relevant details and clear examples. This develops the argument and demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your response covers the task, but it is incomplete. A fully developed answer would explore both sides of the argument, even if you agree with one side. Cover all parts of the task question thoroughly.
task achievement
Your ideas are pertinent to the topic, but lack clarity and depth. Aim for well-articulated points that convey your ideas unambiguously and with comprehensive detail.
task achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to support your argument. Whilst some examples are provided, they are generic and do not convincingly back the essay's stance. Detailed examples enhance the reader's understanding and the essay's persuasiveness.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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