IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You learned the news from your friend regarding a part-time job at a new international company near your house. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter, you should: explain why you need that job give details of what you can do for the company suggest the time that you can work.

#news #friend #job #company #house #manager #time #work
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Dear Sir/Madam, I am George Singer residing in Hathway Street, London. I am a student at the Leeds College of Arts. I hail from a
middle class
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middle-class
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 family and I got some scholarships to study in college.
But
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However
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 I did not qualify for the scholarship in the second year. So I am looking for a
part time
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part-time
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 job to pay my fees. I learnt from one of my friends that there is a vacancy available in the design department of your company. Since I live nearby, it will be easy for me to commute. As I studied Creative Arts as a subject in the first year, I would be of great help to your creative studios section. I can design creative logos, write engaging content for your company newsletters, and help in producing quality videos. I would be able to work in the Digital design division as well. Since I have to attend college
in
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during
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 the day, it would be convenient for me to work in the evenings and weekends. I would prefer to work between 6 PM to 1 AM. Please be considerate and offer the part-time opportunity. Yours sincerely George Singer
Submitted by jeeanay on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a logical flow of ideas by using transition words or phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs smoothly.
Coherence & Cohesion
The greeting and closing of the letter should strictly adhere to formal standards applicable to all forms of business correspondence.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance clarity, each paragraph should focus on one clear idea or subject.
Task Achievement
A complete response must thoroughly address all parts of the task with sufficient detail and relevant information.
Task Achievement
The tone should consistently match the formality of the letter's purpose and recipient throughout.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • part-time employment
  • reliable
  • flexible schedule
  • proficient in
  • customer service
  • time management
  • initiative
  • enthusiastic
  • interpersonal skills
  • availability
  • roles and responsibilities
  • professional environment
  • upcoming commitments
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