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Band 1

Some people believe it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations #answers
Certain individuals think that it is much better not to fight with bad circumstances
such
 as poverty or unattractive jobs. Opponents,
however
, believe that it is important to pursue better living conditions. In my opinion, I consider, persistence in creating a satisfactory style of life is much more profitable in terms of happiness and success.
Submitted by tarasovnn on

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structure
You need to ensure that you have a clear introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each part of the essay should have a specific function, with the introduction stating the topic and your stance, the body paragraphs discussing each view, and the conclusion summarizing your opinion and restating the thesis.
content
Your essay lacks well-supported ideas. You need to expand on your main points by supporting them with relevant examples and explanations. Consider the use of statistics, real-world examples, or hypothetical scenarios that can underline your viewpoint.
coherence
For coherence, make sure that your ideas are organised logically and that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Use a range of linking words and phrases to help connect your ideas and arguments. Cohesion can also be improved by maintaining consistency in your use of tense, point of view, and style throughout the essay.
task response
In terms of task response, it is essential to address all parts of the task. Your essay must discuss both views presented in the prompt and then provide your own opinion. Be specific and clear in illustrating your points to ensure a comprehensive response to the question.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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