Nowadays a lot of young people use social media. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In
the
society of technology, it is not difficult to Correct article usage
a
use
networking, especial
Change the word
especially
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
younsters
. In my point of view, there are more benefits Correct your spelling
youngsters
outweighing
drawbacks and Wrong verb form
outweigh
this
essay will discuss the reasons.
The development of technology make
chances for young people to Change the verb form
makes
use
social networking without any knowledge of protection themselves. Firstly
, there are many scammers in
these Change preposition
on
type
of digital platforms that juveniles do not know how to avoid them. Fix the agreement mistake
types
As a result
, they can deal with dangerous situations such
as lost
of money. Replace the word
loss
Moreover
, because of acknowledge about
Change preposition
of
this
social networking platform, youngsters
might upload their personal information public by chance. Therefore
, their real life can be in danger, and scammers can use
these information
to do illegal Change the determiner
this information
works
. For these reasons, until Fix the agreement mistake
work
youngsters
are prepared enough
Change preposition
with enough
knowlegde
to protect themselves Correct your spelling
knowledge
in
Change preposition
on
this
platform, parents should not allowing
them to Change the verb form
allow
be allowing
use
.
Correct pronoun usage
use it
However
, teenagers have permissions
to Fix the agreement mistake
permission
use
technological devices because of its
variety of benefits. First of all, social media brings children a large Correct pronoun usage
their
soure
of Correct your spelling
source
relationship
from the whole world. To Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
further
explain, because of the connecting
around the world, Replace the word
connections
youngsters
can make friends in the
other nations and improve their relationships. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, they can exchange their national cultures with their friends, therefore
not only their knowledge is improved but also
their cultures are shared to
people in the other nations. Change preposition
with
Finally
, more and more youngsters
are learning foreign languages. For that reason, if they can contact with
local people through social networking and talk with them regularly, their ability of language will increase significantly. Because of these reasons, using social networking brings Change preposition
apply
youngsters
many opportunities to mature and improve themselves.
In conclusion, although
allowing juveniles Correct word choice
apply
use
social networks early will have both negative and positive Fix the infinitive
to use
affects
. Correct your spelling
effects
However
, in my opinion, it brings more benefits than drawbacks to them.Submitted by lethigialinh77 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the question and provides a clear stance. However, to enhance Task Achievement, ensure that you directly address the question throughout the essay, providing a more balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages with relevant examples. Enhance clarity by precisely linking your arguments to the question. Aim to provide specific examples that directly illustrate the points being made.
coherence cohesion
You have an understandable structure with an introduction and conclusion. To improve Coherence and Cohesion, make use of a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing techniques. Clarify the progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next, ensuring each new point logically follows from the preceding one, thus aiding the flow of your essay.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...