IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries around the world rural people are moving to cities so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development ? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
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Due to
Linking Words
 globalization and
majorily
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majority
majorly
 the
cities
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 are improving in terms of development and
facilities
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 across the world,
people
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 are moving from rural
areas
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 to
cities
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. There are plenty of job
oppurtunities
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opportunities
 as well and it attracts
people
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 to move to
cities
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.
Overall
Linking Words
 it is
negative
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a negative
show examples
 development for the rural
areas
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 as there is no development
due to
Linking Words
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
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 in population and industries are not in a position to invest money in a low populated
areas
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 The main example if you see in down south of
tamilnadu
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Tamilnadu
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, there is a rural place called Madurai
and
Correct word choice
where
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 govt
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 planning to set up a steel manufacturing plant, They were not able to meet the labour force and
utimately
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ultimately
 it led to the shutdown in
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 years.
So
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This
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this
Linking Words
 type of situation made
people
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to
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apply
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think and they started to move to
cities
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 and government is not in
position
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a position
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 to invest money
for
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in
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facilities
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 like power , water and sewage
due to
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less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
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 working
people
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 and they may not pay tax On the other side, The
cities
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 are becoming very densely populated,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 rents and other basic
amenties
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amenities
 like water, food,
education
Correct word choice
and education
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 cost
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 increasing heavily
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
. But the
facilities
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 like internet, roads, bridges,
parks
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and parks
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 are developed year
on
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after
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 year. Companies are investing heavily in the
cities
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 where there is tremendous workforce. So
to conclude
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, The population should be diversified and companies should start investing in rural
areas
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 where they can get cheap land and in a way it is beneficial for them to save cost. They must come up with
a
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an
show examples
 idea to develop smart rural
areas
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, where all the
facilities
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 should be provided
,
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apply
show examples
 So that the
people
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wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
show examples
 migrate to
cities
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.
This
Linking Words
 will
also
Linking Words
 in turn help the
cities
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 to avoid congestion.
Submitted by Leena Kapoor on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your score, consider organizing your ideas more effectively. Introduce a clear topic statement, followed by supporting paragraphs that expand on your main points with specifics. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to ensure the essay flows smoothly.
task achievement
For task achievement, aim for a balanced discussion addressing all parts of the prompt. Present clear arguments both for and against the development, offering more detailed examples to substantiate your points. Conclude with a summary of your arguments to satisfactorily answer the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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