IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views?

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Transportation is an essential part of people around the world. Some believe it is crucial to invest in building new
fast track
Add a hyphen
fast-track
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 railways as it will reduce
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 time. I believe that improvement of the current public transport should be given more priority and
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should invest more
on
Change preposition
in
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 the infrastructure as it will gain more attention of people.
This
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 essay will discuss both views.
To begin
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 with, railway lines for
fast track
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fast-track
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 trains offer significant benefits including, reducing
traveling
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travelling
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 time for commuters.
Moreover
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, it will
also
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 promote
in
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apply
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the alleviation of traffic which
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also
Add a missing verb
is also
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 advantageous for people
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 on the roads.
For example
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, metropolitan Cities have widespread
of
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apply
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rail networks which aids passengers to reach their desired destination within minutes
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared to
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 other mode of transportation which requires more time.
However
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, The government should spend significantly more funds on the current local transport
such
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 as
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
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 or local trains, to improve their infrastructure.
This
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 is because it is widely used by the locals on
the
Correct article usage
a
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 daily basis.
Furthermore
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,
Enhancement
Correct article usage
the Enhancement
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 of local transportation will not only attract locals but it will gain
attention
Add an article
the attention
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 of the foreigners.
For instance
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, international tourism will be attracted to local buses or trains if it has good amenities to offer and ensure
safety
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the safety
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 of passengers.
To conclude
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, investing in Newer networks and routes will require a huge amount and burden on the government. In my opinion, local authorities should spend more money and budget on the enhancement of current public transport as it will be more beneficial to them and to the public

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, you may need to work on the seamless flow of ideas from one paragraph to the other to improve the logical progression.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are fully expanded upon in each paragraph, providing detailed support for your statements. Each paragraph should contain one clear main idea with an explanation or example.
task achievement
The overall response to the task is adequate but needs to go into more depth. Your answer could benefit from more specific examples and a clearer argument to fully satisfy the question prompt. Additionally, you could balance the discussion more evenly between the two views presented.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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