IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that it's easier for adults to learn skills (Ex: Computer skills) by themselves. Others think they need the help of a teacher in a classroom. Discuss both views and give your opinion as well.

#people #adults #skills #computer #help #teacher #classroom
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It is often argued that self-learning is a better
way
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 for adults, particularly officers to learn new
skills
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,
while
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 others believe that the guidance of an experienced teacher may help them learn
that
Correct pronoun usage
those
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skills
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 more
effective
Change the word
effectively
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. In my opinion,
although
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 two ways of learning have their own benefits, it is much dependent on the preferences of learners and
context
Correct article usage
the context
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 of
skills
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 being learned. First of all, it is evident that studying by themselves generally
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
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 the learners. One key benefit is that they will have a flexible schedule, leading them to study whatever and whenever they
free
Add a missing verb
are free
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.
Therefore
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,
this
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 initiative
help
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helps
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 them to gain more motivation, which is a main factor
of
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in
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 absorbing easily. Particularly, workers who are always busy with their deadlines at offices are not able to take part in classes on time and keep up with everyone's progress.
Nevertheless
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, self-learning
also
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 possesses numerous drawbacks,
such
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 as
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of structured guidance from
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 professional
guider
Correct your spelling
guide
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, meet
the
Correct article usage
apply
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misunderstanding
while
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 learning and the absence of direct feedback. These may result in them being
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
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, easily
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 discouraged and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 up.
On the other hand
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, learning under the guidance of experienced individual enable learners to study
step- by-step
Correct your spelling
step-by-step
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, from basic to advanced, making humans who the process of discovery
Change preposition
of that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
those
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skills
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 more effective.
Besides
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, enabling interaction with
teacher
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teachers
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 to get
immediately
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immediate
show examples
feedbacks
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feedback
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also
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 supports them
understanding
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in understanding
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 deeper and being proficient in a certain time.
Lastly
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, having a
clearly
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clear
show examples
 plan to learn is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best
way
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 for people to approach their targets as soon as possible.
However
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,
this
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way
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 of learning will not be suitable for full-time officers who have a less flexible schedule and humans who love breakthroughs in education owing to the one-size-fits-all approach. In conclusion, both self-learning and classroom learning have their advantages and disadvantages.
As a result
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, individuals should assess carefully before deciding to choose the best
way
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 for themselves in lieu of just listening to advice from others. Only the learning method that suits them will bring the best results.
Submitted by anhquynhkth06 on

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introduction conclusion presence
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines your position. Make sure to write a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your opinion.
logical structure
Arrange your essay in a logical structure with clear paragraphs, each one focusing on a specific point. Start with a topic sentence and follow with supporting details.
clear comprehensive ideas
To achieve a higher score, focus on developing main points with clear and comprehensive ideas, ensuring relevance to the task prompt.
relevant specific examples
Include specific examples and detailed explanations to support your arguments. This makes your essay more persuasive and improves task achievement scores.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autodidact
  • E-learning
  • Pedagogy
  • Didactic resources
  • Cognitive styles
  • Instructional approach
  • Continuous feedback
  • Collaborative learning
  • Learning curve
  • Empirical evidence
  • Adaptive learning
  • Self-discipline
  • Peer interaction
  • Mentorship
  • Critical thinking
What to do next:
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