The bar chart shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009, the pie chart gives information about the ages of thia course participants.

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The bar

chart

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illustrates data regarding how many males and females participated in a wide range of evening tutors at an older learning

center

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centre

show examples

in 2009,

while

Linking Words

the accompanying pie

chart

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provides a nuanced account of attendees' age profiles in percentages. On the whole, it is apparent that a more substantial number of ladies attended all evening classes except for sculpture as opposed to

men

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Furthermore

Linking Words

, it is obvious that evening classes have become a popular choice among the elderly.

According to

Linking Words

the bar graph,

the

Correct article usage

apply

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drama was a more well-known option among females in comparison with

men

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, with 20 women and 10

men

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. Moving onto painting and language, the former had a significant quantity of both genders, amounting to 30 and 25, respectively. The peak number of 40 women was observed in the letter-type course, constituting 20

men

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Nonetheless

Linking Words

, all becomes the reverse with a sculpture, as guys were twice as many as women, accounting for 10 and 5, respectively.

According to

Linking Words

the pie

chart

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, the majority of participants were older

people

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. In fact, more than 50 elderly individuals took part in all sorts of classes, making up 42%. Not only

these

Add a missing verb

did these

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aged humans

got

Wrong verb form

get

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involved in these

trainings

Change the wording

training

pieces of training

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in a particular educational

center

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centre

show examples

, but

also

Linking Words

the ratio of 40–49-year-old

people

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who attended these study programs was considerable.

This

Linking Words

trend's numbers were notably 10% and 15% higher than those of

people

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in the lifetimes of 30-39 and 20-29, respectively.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

people

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below 20 years old showed the most modest proportion in the

chart

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, forming 5% of humans.

Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on Sat Dec 02 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, men, people with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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The bar chart shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009, the pie chart gives information about the ages of thia course participants.

Childhood obesity is becoming a serious health problem in many countries. What are the causes of this? What solution can be offer

Some people think there are not many things individuals can do to resolve environmental problems, while the others believe that in order to tackle environmental problems individuals also need to take action. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that education is important to get jobs while others believe it its experience and skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In some countries, men and women are having children late in life. What are the reasons for this development? Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.