Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?”

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, a number of people prefer to spend their lives close to their home town, rather than moving somewhere. There is one main reason for that, which is not going out of your comfort zone.
Firstly
, action like leaving your comfort zone is hard to do physically,
as well as
mentally.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
enormous number of individuals, do not want to leave their familiar places, in light of the fact that of fear. It leads to uncompleted dreams and achievements,
such
as studying at a top-notch university or applying for a well-paid job in another country or city.
Also
, it can happen, owing to a lack of resources or opportunities
elsewhere
,
as well as
financial constraints.
This
can cause an unsatisfied feeling during your whole life, and it is going to be only,
due to
lack of strength.
Furthermore
, you not only need to be brave
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but educated abundance and have great skills for moving abroad.
Secondly
, a sense of belonging will not exist for you for an extremely long period, it may even never come.
On the other hand
, staying in your birthplace is always having something well-known around you.
Moreover
, there is no
such
thing as a cultural attachment, you will be on your plate, even though you might not feel
this
way.
Additionally
, you do not
ought
Verb problem
have
show examples
to deal with language barriers, which is usually the biggest problem for immigrants.
To sum up
, there are a huge number of disadvantages to leaving your origin city,
on the
contrary
Add the comma(s)
contrary,
show examples
they do not outweigh the advantages of achieving your goals somewhere, where you can do it.
Submitted by katiakardash07 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure
Your essay demonstrates some ability to organize thoughts, but the structure is not entirely clear. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that these ideas progress logically from one to the next.
introduction conclusion present
Make certain to clearly delineate the introduction and conclusion. These should encapsulate the main points and provide a complete circle of thought.
supported main points
While main points are somewhat supported, the arguments could benefit from more specific examples and a deeper analysis to reinforce your points.
complete response
The response covers the task only partially, focusing more on the disadvantages than on the advantages. Try to balance your essay by addressing both aspects of the question equally.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to develop your ideas fully. Use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to convey clear, detailed concepts, and to maintain the interest of the reader.
relevant specific examples
Your essay needs more specific examples to illustrate the points effectively. Concrete examples add depth to your argument and make it more convincing to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: