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Band 2.5

Due to poorer countries experiencing a brain drain they are seeing many professionals, such as doctors and teachers, leaving to work in more develped countries. what problems does this cause what solutions can be suggested to deal with this situation?

#countries #brain #drain #professionals #doctors #teachers #work #situation
Some professionals in developing countries decide to work in higher-income countries and settle there permanently.
This
 phenomenon occurs
due to
 the rapid
economics
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 growth in these developing nations, resulting in
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of higher job opportunities, and
lowbetter
Correct your spelling
low better
living standards. In developing nations, job opportunities are limited as they often
failed
Wrong verb form
fail
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 to meet demand between growth in population and workforce
expandionng
Correct your spelling
expansion
expanding
.
This
 imbalance between job availability and the number of individuals seeking employment
causesing
Correct your spelling
causes
 challenges to the economic sector and some people decide to work overseas to get a better opportunity. In
Indonesia
, there are several famous
visa
Change to a plural noun
visas
show examples
 for working, like Australia and Japan. The Brain drain phenomenon can cause the
lose
Replace the word
loss
show examples
 of
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
 skilled and educated individuals, and it can impact the quality of that country in the long term.
Due to
 the brain drain phenomenon, in
Indonesia
, government provide a scholarship for
student
Add an article
a student
the student
show examples
 to study overseas but they
shoul
Correct your spelling
should
 back to
Indonesia
.
This
 funding
successful
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successfully
show examples
to reduce
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reduced
show examples
 the number of
awardee
Change to a plural noun
awardees
show examples
 who did not return to
Indonesia
.
Nevertheless
, some
awardee
Fix the agreement mistake
awardees
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 still did not back to
Indonesia
 and
face
Wrong verb form
faced
show examples
Correct article usage
the consequence
show examples
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
show examples
 of their decision.
Submitted by nadiaha234 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should outline the problems and solutions you will discuss. Each body paragraph should focus on a single main idea, providing relevant examples or evidence.
task achievement
Make sure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Mention specific problems caused by the brain drain and propose concrete solutions. Develop your ideas fully to meet the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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