Some people think that too much attention and too many resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, there have been many debates surrounding spending too much money and attention on preserving
balance
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the balance
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of the ecosystem
,
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apply
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and protecting wild animals and birds. From my perspective, I firmly disagree with
this
opinion from the general public.
Firstly
, lack of protection and remaining wildlife could have numerous substantial consequences in the far future. If people underestimate the importance of sophisticated balances in
wild life
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wildlife
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, it will have huge drawbacks to nature in general and
human
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humans
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in specific. When one kind of predator
were
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was
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threatened, other grazing animals would rise at a dizzying rate and cause many negative impacts on nature or even on agricultural economics.
For instance
, in the starting years of Australia, the population explosion of rabbits has caused many disadvantages to local people and agriculture. Now, if we do not spend enough resources on maintaining the balance of the ecosystem, we will face and have to spend more money and
efforts
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effort
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to tackle problems in the long-term future.
Secondly
, biodiversity
also
brings many benefits to our daily life. Some kinds of unique species are able to help countries improve their tourism and economy.
Panda
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The panda
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,
for example
, is a mammal animal which is only found in China and attracts, annually, a huge amount of tourists
around
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from around
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the world
to come
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apply
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to
this
country.
Then
, local people could benefit from relevant service fields, namely food, accommodation, and transport.
Furthermore
, the relationship between
human
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humans
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and wildlife
also
has advantages in our daily
life
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lives
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.
For example
, the venom of certain snakes has been used to develop life-saving medications,
the
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and the
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study of migratory birds has led to a better understanding of navigation and climate change. In conclusion, I disagree with the notion that too much attention and resources are dedicated to the protection of wild animals and birds. I wholeheartedly believe that investment should be given to
this
cause for the benefit of all.
Submitted by cdiemquynh009 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your arguments flow logically from one to the next. While you've maintained a decent structure, enhancing the transitions between paragraphs could improve readability and strengthen your coherence.
coherence cohesion
In your introduction and conclusion, try to paraphrase the question more effectively and assert your position in a clearer way that encapsulates the entirety of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific, concrete examples. Your current examples are relevant, but they could be better elaborated on to fully demonstrate your argument's validity.
task achievement
Address the full scope of the task by ensuring that you fully respond to every aspect of the prompt. While you have provided relevant content, further expansion on each point would result in a more complete response.
task achievement
Articulate your ideas more comprehensively. While you have a good start, a more in-depth explanation of each point could boost the comprehensiveness of your essay.
task achievement
Utilize more diverse and precise examples to illustrate your viewpoints. The more specific you are, the more convincing your essay will be, enhancing its overall impact.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • species extinction
  • wildlife conservation
  • sustainable development
  • ecosystem services
  • habitat destruction
  • endangered species
  • conservation efforts
  • natural heritage
  • human encroachment
  • poaching
  • genetic diversity
  • climate change
  • environmental stewardship
  • protection measures
  • wildlife sanctuary
  • biological significance
  • conservation biology
  • environmental advocacy
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