Many people did not stay active during the pandemic. Write in cause and effect essay. Write at least 250 words.
During
COVID 19
,many Add a hyphen
COVID-19
people
have a lack
of exercise
. Many people
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
lack
of
Change preposition
apply
exercise
because no
trying to do some Correct your spelling
not
exercise
and stay using mobile
Correct pronoun usage
their mobile
phone
for Fix the agreement mistake
phones
long
Change the article
a long
time
. This
leads to cause
many Verb problem
apply
disease
and Change to a plural noun
diseases
stay
using mobile Wrong verb form
staying
phone
for Fix the agreement mistake
phones
long
Change the article
a long
time
.
The first effect of many people have a
Verb problem
people's
lack
of exercise
is causing many disease
. In fact, Change to a plural noun
diseases
the
studies indicate show if Correct article usage
apply
the
person has Correct article usage
a
stay
for Fix the infinitive
to stay
long
Change the article
a long
time
without any activity, it will lead to many disease
Change to a plural noun
diseases
especially
in the psychological aspect. Add the comma(s)
, especially
In addition
, and also
may be
have Verb problem
apply
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
in
Change preposition
with
immunity
system or cardiovascular Correct article usage
the immunity
disease
.
The another
effect of many Remove the article
Another
people have a
Verb problem
people's
lack
of exercise
is stay
using Wrong verb form
staying
mobile
Correct pronoun usage
their mobile
phone
for Fix the agreement mistake
phones
long
Change the article
a long
time
. In addition
, using mobile
for Correct article usage
a mobile
long
Change the article
a long
time
it
will lead to many problems like eye weakness, and deviation of the eye.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
To sum up
, many people
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
lack
of
Change preposition
apply
exercise
during the
Correct article usage
apply
COVID 19
. It is clear from the Add a hyphen
COVID-19
lack
of exercise
leads to cause
many Verb problem
apply
disease
and using mobile Change to a plural noun
diseases
phone
for Fix the agreement mistake
phones
long
Change the article
a long
time
. If you want your life without any problem
, you will start doing Fix the agreement mistake
problems
exercise
.Submitted by Eissa Aljabri
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential for structuring the argument effectively. Consider starting with a statement that introduces the topic and ends with a conclusion that summarizes the main points.
coherence cohesion
The use of logical connectors to create cohesion between ideas is lacking. Sentences and paragraphs should flow logically, using phrases like 'as a result', 'therefore', or 'in summary' to connect statements.
coherence cohesion
The essay needs more developed supporting points. Each effect discussed should be followed by specific examples or further explanation to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
The prompt requires an examination of the causes and effects of inactivity during the pandemic. The essay does not fully address the causes of inactivity, focusing mainly on the effects. Make sure to address both sides of the topic as per the task requirement.
task achievement
The essay lacks clarity and detail, making it difficult to understand. Work on providing clear and comprehensive explanations of the points, avoiding vague or repetitive statements.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points, enhancing the quality of the argument and demonstrating task achievement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!