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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph illustrate data in terms of proportion of individuals, which living in conurbation districts over a 50years period between 1970unti 2020 that incorporated with participate about 2030 and 2040.

The graph illustrate data in terms of proportion of individuals, which living in conurbation districts over a 50years period between 1970unti 2020 that incorporated with participate about 2030 and 2040.
The graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 data in terms of
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 of individuals,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
living in conurbation districts over a
50years
Correct your spelling
50-year
 period between 1970unti 2020 that incorporated with
participate
Replace the word
participation
show examples
 about 2030 and 2040. All in all, what deduction from
this
Linking Words
 graph is that there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 a substantial upward
trend
Use synonyms
 in the number of people, who have
burning
Correct article usage
a burning
show examples
 desire to live in cities in every single country mentioned in question. Another fascinating point that could stand out from
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 figures is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
population
Use synonyms
 of Malaysia have a much more intention for living in cities.
With looking
Change preposition
Looking
show examples
 closely at details, as
regard
Correct subject-verb agreement
regards
show examples
 Malaysia
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 that
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 chosen cities as their habitat started at just under 30 % in 1970.
afterward
Add a comma
afterward,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 fraction
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
witnessed a sore
trend
Use synonyms
 and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 roughly
75%in
Correct your spelling
75% in
 2020.
it
Capitalize word
It
show examples
 will be anticipated that
this
Linking Words
 amount hit
the
Correct your spelling
80
 80%in 2030 and 905 in 2040 which
meant
Wrong verb form
means
show examples
 that
this
Linking Words
percentage
Use synonyms
 is
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 urbanization in
compare
Replace the word
comparison
show examples
 with other given countries. if we evaluate the static about
Correct article usage
the Philippine
show examples
Philippine
Correct your spelling
Philippines
show examples
 we will find that
this
Linking Words
 country commenced just above 30% in 1970.
following
Capitalize word
Following
show examples
 that
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 figures
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rocked to about 50% in 1990 and
then
Linking Words
 have levelled off at just 50%
unti2020.it
Change preposition
by unti2020.it
show examples
 has been foretold that the urban residents will have elevated to approximately 60% till 2040.
Respect
Change preposition
With respect
show examples
 to
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 it ongoing from 15% in 1970 and
subsequently
Linking Words
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced an incremental
trend
Use synonyms
 so that, It has had urban
population
Use synonyms
percentage
Use synonyms
 in 2020 touch 55%.it will reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
65%
until
Change preposition
by
show examples
 2030 and 70% in 2040
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 information enlightens
this
Linking Words
 truth that
Indonesia
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
most
Add an article
a most
the most
show examples
 jump in progression in
this
Linking Words
 realm.
Finally
Linking Words
, despite the fact that Thailand
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
had
more
Fix the agreement mistake
a higher
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 in beginning
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 (20% in 1970) and
emulate
Wrong verb form
emulating
show examples
 the
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 pattern until 1990
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 city
population
Use synonyms
 expanded to 30% ,it had been engaging
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a recession between 1990
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2020.
Never the less
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
show examples
 it has been predicted that
this
Linking Words
 fraction will have seen
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 intensification
trend
Use synonyms
 and reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
50%
untile
Correct your spelling
until
show examples
 2040.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words trend, population, percentage, indonesia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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