The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion mil be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.
Living in
the
modernized society and becoming much more adapted, Correct article usage
a
this
issue lead to have
various occupation or Wrong verb form
having
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
tremendous
amount Correct article usage
a tremendous
money
. Change preposition
of money
However
, some people
assert having a single job can be enough. In this
essay both having single
job and Add an article
a single
multi professional
will be stated.
To embarkAdd a hyphen
multi-professional
on
, some Change preposition
apply
workholic
Correct your spelling
workaholic
workaholics
people
entertained
by working and earning Add a missing verb
are entertained
money
. They have enormous
tendency to possess Add an article
an enormous
amenity
in Fix the agreement mistake
amenities
the
society Correct article usage
apply
therefore
, possessing several careers can response
Replace the word
respond
throughout
Change preposition
to
life
's expenditure. In addition
, individuals who enjoy multi
skills might the best Correct word choice
multiple
deeds is
exhibit Verb problem
to
there
performance in Replace the word
their
the
particular situation. Correct article usage
a
For instance
, athletes that
need Correct pronoun usage
apply
to
much Correct your spelling
too
money
until covered there
cost of professional.
on the other Replace the word
their
hands
, some Fix the agreement mistake
hand
people
allege they do
not Verb problem
are
require
to have extra jobs so, they claim that work Wrong verb form
required
life
should be balanced this
type of people
believe taking
pleasure in Change preposition
in taking
there
own Correct your spelling
their
life
. Individuals assume that single
career is enough to maintain Correct article usage
a single
life
span, Correct article usage
a life
note
only Correct your spelling
not
have
Change the verb form
has
a
spare time Correct article usage
apply
to
their family but Change preposition
for
also
they can manage other hobbies.
in conclusion, considering to
Change preposition
apply
this
fact, living the
updated association has been materialistic more than before and well Change preposition
in the
being
Verb problem
well-being
humankind
has been mentioned, the common sense of various Change preposition
of humankind
occupation
alter to novel approach to gain Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
money
. nevertheless
, it is significant to be
Unnecessary verb
apply
possesed
of moderation Correct your spelling
possess
life
better than any things
.Correct your spelling
anything
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear and logical progression of ideas. The introduction should clearly present the topic and outline the main points to be discussed. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, which should be supported by examples or explanations. The conclusion should summarize the points made and restate the position. Aim for a more structured approach, where each point leads naturally to the next, and use cohesive devices effectively to achieve this.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the topic but falls short in achieving complete task response. Both sides of the argument - having a single career and having multiple careers - are mentioned, but the discussion is not developed thoroughly. To improve, expand on the ideas presented, offer deeper analysis or examples, and ensure that each paragraph adds to the overall argument or narrative. Be more detailed in your explanations, justify your opinions, and ensure you stay on topic throughout the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.