should a nation invest in transportation? discuss both views ans express an opinion

Whereas
there is a prevalent belief among people that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enhancing the status of
transportation
must not be prioritized by a nation, some other groups assert that mounting the modernity of
transportation
must be strived by all nations. Both viewpoints will be assessed in
this
essay
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
giving proper examples. Not much effort is dedicated in many
countries
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
upgrading their social facilities as many governors claim that there are more prominent sections in which
countries
should invest and attempt.
For instance
, many responsible
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
that their
countries
are required to be upgraded in infrastructures and spending too much money just for making
transportation
status seems to be kind of inconsideration.
Moreover
, there is a widespread notion
in
Change preposition
that
show examples
accordance with,
remarkably
Correct article usage
the remarkably
show examples
increased use of personal vehicles decline
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
necessity of public
transportation
. Considering
this
idea, we can deduce why some
countries
are reluctant to improve their
transportation
systems. Another pivotal aspect of my viewpoint is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
transportation
is not solely limited to
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
transportation
system.
Status
Correct article usage
The status
show examples
of roads, access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
them, and the way they are built are
also
some significant sides of
transportation
, which must be valued. We witness
skyrocketing
Correct article usage
the skyrocketing
show examples
drive of cars and other vehicles,
nonetheless
, the importance of public
transportation
cannot be ignored.
Likewise
, many people prefer to commute using public
transportation
as they are not forced to get stuck in traffic in daylight hours and harsh
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
. As proof, a lot of companies are located
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
downtown and employees prefer to catch public
transportation
getting
Change the verb form
to get
show examples
to their office which
makes
Verb problem
gives
show examples
them relief
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
long hours commuting. In conclusion,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
some believe that a nation is not responsible for investing in
transportation
, after considering the aforementioned points, I suppose that everyone in a society must access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
up-to-dated
Correct your spelling
up-to-date
show examples
transportation
, which can be provided through monthly or yearly
boost
Fix the agreement mistake
boosts
show examples
. It must be noted that
this
elevation is only possible through devoting
required
Correct article usage
the required
show examples
annuity.
Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be well-organized, with each sentence flowing logically from the one before. Use linking words effectively to signal the relationships between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Provide an introduction that clearly presents the topic and your thesis. The conclusion should effectively summarize the main points made in the essay and restate your opinion. The current essay lacks a clear thesis and the conclusion does not sufficiently summarize the main points or restate a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
Each main point should be developed with specific, detailed support. Generic statements should be accompanied by concrete examples, data, or relevant scenarios that clearly demonstrate the validity of your point. This essay provided some examples but they were not fully developed or entirely convincing.
task achievement
The essay needs to completely respond to the task by discussing both views and providing a clear opinion. It should represent a balanced discussion that provides a comprehensive coverage of the topic, followed by the writer's own stance. This essay attempts to discuss both sides and express an opinion, but this could have been done in a more complete and balanced manner.
task achievement
The ideas presented in the essay should be clear, comprehensive, and relevant to the topic. It's important to fully explain and elaborate on the ideas to ensure they are expressed comprehensively. This essay includes ideas that are relevant, yet they require further elaboration and explanation for full clarity and comprehensiveness.
task achievement
Using relevant and specific examples strengthens the argument and demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic. Ensure that the examples used are directly relevant to the point being made and that they are explained in enough detail to support the argument effectively. The essay has examples but they are vague and not sufficiently specific or elaborated.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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