Some people say that mobile phones are unnecessary for young group while others find that its useful for younger ones. discuss both views and give your opinion

In today's digital age, there has been ongoing debate regarding whether young
people
necessarily need mobile
phones
. Some argue that
this device
Fix the agreement mistake
these devices
show examples
are not essential for young
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
,
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
consider
phones
as a convenient tool for them. In
this
essay, I will explore both perspectives and present my personal viewpoint. In
this
fast-paced society,
people
gradually focus on their own matters
instead
of caring what
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
around them. It is widely agreed that young men and women in
this
generation seem to be more indifferent because of the invention of
cellphones
Correct your spelling
cell phones
show examples
. One significant disadvantage of mobile
phones
can be addictive. In
this
materialistic society, plenty of software companies aim to share the market of mobile
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
in order to gain substantial profit.
As a consequence
, those
coporations
Correct your spelling
corporations
tend to develop the game that players must stick on the screen for a long time, which can make tons of money by using gamers' addiction.
On the other hand
, It is believed that young
people
can utilize mobile
phones
to achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic purposes. With the widespread availability of the Internet, students can effortlessly obtain knowledge online. What is
obivious
Correct your spelling
obvious
is that young students can take advantage of technology that using their
phones
combine
Wrong verb form
combined
show examples
with the Internet to enhance the efficiency of learning.
Furthermore
, social
also
an important matter for teenagers, and it is essential for children to form a deep bond with their friends or classmates.
Consequently
,
cellphones
Correct your spelling
cell phones
show examples
can easily allow them to contact each other after school. In conclusion, it is evident that
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
group could be addicted to mobile games but there is
also
a range of
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
that mobile
phones
can provide.
Therefore
, it is crucial that parents and teachers should teach young
people
to strike a balance between the manner of using technology.
Submitted by seanlin12345 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: