Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In recent years shopping has become an activity which
people
are keeping on their hobby list. It's not happening for a single society or a single country but all over the globe. Especially for young person
shopping is the most leisurely activity. Fix the agreement mistake
people
However
, this
trend is viewed as positive or negative depending on the individual's point of view. In this
essay, I shall try to explain my views on this
culture and my opinion on this
subject matter.
There is
a lot of reasons involved for which Correct subject-verb agreement
are
person
are getting shopping freaks in the last
decade. As per history and the story what we heard from our grandfather or great grandfather
is that Add a hyphen
great-grandfather
people
used to live with friends and family. A large number of people
lived together and they spent quality time with as example we can mention they travelled a lot together, took their lunch/dinner together even watched a movie in theatre
with their family members. Social networkingAdd an article
the theatre
a theatre
,
and financial instability can be added as another reason.
Remove the comma
apply
Furthermore
, as young
Add an article
a young
person
in the stage of a transition from child
/teen to adult, they are eager to showcase their aggression to Replace the word
childhood
proof
themselves towards parents and grandparents that they can go outside and make some decisions. Adults in America and Asia are experiencing Replace the word
prove
this
trend.
To me neither it's a positive nor a negative development of society but a mixed feeling. People
should try to find something which will balance everything like their social life, and personal life. As it
will not bring a good result if that Correct word choice
It
person
will take
or Wrong verb form
takes
perform
something prohibited Correct subject-verb agreement
performs
at
staying home.Change preposition
while
On the other hand
is it good that young people
devoted themself to shopping instead
of being involved in cultural events, reading books, and playing games in the yard?Submitted by bdcracker007 on
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task response
To improve Task Achievement, ensure you fully address all parts of the task. Your essay should provide a clear opinion on whether shopping as a popular activity for young adults is positive or negative, with relevant examples to back up your views.
coherence cohesion
In terms of Coherence and Cohesion, your essay needs to exhibit a clearer logical structure. Use paragraphs effectively to separate ideas, and ensure that your ideas flow naturally from one to the next. Avoid a disjointed narrative by enhancing the connections between points.
task response
Support your main points with specific and pertinent examples. Generic statements should be supplemented with concrete details that reinforce the argument and add depth to the discussion. This will make your ideas stand out and be more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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