Some people believe that activities of large multinational companies mostly benefit the economies of developing countries, other people take the opposite view and feel these large multinationals are harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There are people who believe that multinational enterprises are good
to
the local economy of developing nations, Change preposition
for
whereas
another
people argue that these international companies bring negative consequences. I think there are pros and cons, which will detailed in the next lines.
The first view can be supported by the fact that these large organizations create several jobs, and they are responsible Replace the adjective
other
to introduce
new technologies in Change preposition
for introducing
the
poor countries. Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, they collaborate to elevate the average salary in these underdeveloped states, attracting the best talents in areas like engineering, marketing, and sales, for instance
. Moreover
, it contributes to increase
the educational level and Wrong verb form
increasing
promote
the learning Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
languages
, Change preposition
of languages
such
as English, German, Spanish
, Correct word choice
and Spanish
relies
on the nationality of these corporations.
Verb problem
depending
On the other hand
, the presence of these huge multinationals can broking
local industry and small Verb problem
bring
business
. Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
This
occur
because it is too difficult Change the verb form
occurs
to
the regional companies Change preposition
for
competing
with big business, especially on price and quality. Change the verb form
to compete
Besides
, the profits of all activity in underdeveloped countries is
sent to the country of origin, as well Change the verb form
are
the
main tax. Correct word choice
as the
In addition
, in the long-term
, the economy becomes dependent Correct your spelling
long term
of
international policies and dollar exchange rates.
In conclusion, there are advantages and disadvantages, but I think the pros overcome the cons. It is necessary Change preposition
on
some
laws and Change preposition
to some
regulation
to avail the good points and Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
avoiding
the drawbacks. I believe that there are Wrong verb form
avoid
much
more benefits, Fix the agreement mistake
many
however
, the local government must regulate some aspects to protect the small and local enterprise
, whether by giving subsidies or promoting Fix the agreement mistake
enterprises
a
free and healthy competition.Remove the article
apply
Submitted by fmulato on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the structure of your argument. Your introduction did touch upon the topic but could have more precisely outlined the points that would be discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing should be used effectively to structure the argument. You have attempted to structure your essay into paragraphs, which is good, but some paragraphs may benefit from clearer topic sentences and more focused development of the main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to structure the discourse, but avoid overusing or misusing them. Some sentences seem to be disconnected due to improper use of linking words.
Task Achievement
Address the task fully by discussing both views and giving your own opinion. You have discussed both views but need to ensure that your opinion is consistent throughout the essay and not only mentioned in the conclusion.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas fully by providing clear and comprehensive explanations, possibly supported by examples. Your essay provides a general discussion but lacks specific examples to illustrate the points made.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve lexical resource to correctly express precise meaning and avoid errors. Pay attention to collocation ('broking local industry' should be 'breaking into local industry' or 'outcompeting local industry').