Some people believe that activities of large multinational companies mostly benefit the economies of developing countries, other people take the opposite view and feel these large multinationals are harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There are people who believe that multinational enterprises are good
to
Change preposition
for
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the local economy of developing nations,
whereas
another
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other
show examples
people argue that these international companies bring negative consequences. I think there are pros and cons, which will detailed in the next lines. The first view can be supported by the fact that these large organizations create several jobs, and they are responsible
to introduce
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for introducing
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new technologies in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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poor countries.
Furthermore
, they collaborate to elevate the average salary in these underdeveloped states, attracting the best talents in areas like engineering, marketing, and sales,
for instance
.
Moreover
, it contributes to
increase
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increasing
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the educational level and
promote
Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
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the learning
languages
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of languages
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,
such
as English, German,
Spanish
Correct word choice
and Spanish
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,
relies
Verb problem
depending
show examples
on the nationality of these corporations.
On the other hand
, the presence of these huge multinationals can
broking
Verb problem
bring
show examples
local industry and small
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
.
This
occur
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occurs
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because it is too difficult
to
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for
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the regional companies
competing
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to compete
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with big business, especially on price and quality.
Besides
, the profits of all activity in underdeveloped countries
is
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are
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sent to the country of origin, as well
the
Correct word choice
as the
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main tax.
In addition
, in the
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
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, the economy becomes dependent
of
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on
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international policies and dollar exchange rates. In conclusion, there are advantages and disadvantages, but I think the pros overcome the cons. It is necessary
some
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to some
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laws and
regulation
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regulations
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to avail the good points and
avoiding
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avoid
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the drawbacks. I believe that there are
much
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many
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more benefits,
however
, the local government must regulate some aspects to protect the small and local
enterprise
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enterprises
show examples
, whether by giving subsidies or promoting
a
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apply
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free and healthy competition.
Submitted by fmulato on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the structure of your argument. Your introduction did touch upon the topic but could have more precisely outlined the points that would be discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing should be used effectively to structure the argument. You have attempted to structure your essay into paragraphs, which is good, but some paragraphs may benefit from clearer topic sentences and more focused development of the main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to structure the discourse, but avoid overusing or misusing them. Some sentences seem to be disconnected due to improper use of linking words.
Task Achievement
Address the task fully by discussing both views and giving your own opinion. You have discussed both views but need to ensure that your opinion is consistent throughout the essay and not only mentioned in the conclusion.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas fully by providing clear and comprehensive explanations, possibly supported by examples. Your essay provides a general discussion but lacks specific examples to illustrate the points made.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve lexical resource to correctly express precise meaning and avoid errors. Pay attention to collocation ('broking local industry' should be 'breaking into local industry' or 'outcompeting local industry').
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