The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.

The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.
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The diagram shows the stages involved in the production of soft
drink
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drinks
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.
Overall
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, there are 5 stages in the process, beginning with preparing the
water
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for the drinks
,
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apply
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and culminating with the packaging and delivery of the finished product. In the first
stage
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of the process,
water
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is put through a filter before a softener and other chemicals are added to it. Once the
water
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has been processed, it is
then
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pumped
on to
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onto
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stage
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2 where it undergoes evaporation and carbonation. During
this
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stage
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, the
water
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is heated and run through a cooling pipe before carbon dioxide is added, creating carbonated
water
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. In the third
stage
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of the process, the carbonated
water
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is put into a mixing tank where it is mixed with colouring, flavouring, and sweetener. The resulting mixture is
then
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filtered before being packaged into cans and bottles.
Finally
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, once the bottles and cans have been packaged into boxes, they are transported to supermarkets where they are ready to be sold.
Submitted by nh203618 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, stage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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