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Band 6.5

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#anthropology #graduates #university #course #salaries #anthropologists #work #five #years #summarise #information #features #comparison
The above
two
 charts depict
two
 important
financial
Correct quantifier usage
pieces of financial
show examples
infomation
Correct your spelling
information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the police forces, which indicate the funding
sources
 in the table and the expenditures in the pie charts during 2017 and 2018. These comprehensive data have shed
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
light on the budgeting exercises of the police stations in those
two
 years. The
two
 years of income
sources
 show striking similarities.
While
 the governmental
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
 significantly contributed to around
two-third
Correct your spelling
two-thirds
show examples
 of the
overall
 income,
minority
Add an article
a minority
the minority
show examples
 of the income source
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
originated from other
sources
such
 as grants (around 38 million pounds).
Nonetheless
, the total funding in 2018 was slightly higher than that in 2017 with a rise in the total funding from all the budgeting
sources
 (namely the national government, the local taxes and the other
sources
).
On the other hand
, the proportion of expenditures shows a minor difference, with the same percentage spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 buildings and transport across the years (17%). The 6% spent on salaries
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 transferred to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technological investment in 2018, resulting in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
14% of the
overall
 spending. In a nutshell, as the annual budget allocated to the police department had increased from 2017 to 2018, the sum of annual
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
show examples
 was expected to increase
consequently
.
Submitted by ardentpicks on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words two, sources with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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