IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts give information about honey-bee colonies and honey production in the US

The charts give information about honey-bee colonies and honey production in the US
#information #honey-bee #colonies #honey #production
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The charts below give information about the
number
 of
honey
-bee
colonies
 and the
amount
 of
honey
-bee
production
 in the US between 1970 and 2010.
Overall
, the
number
 of
Honey
-bee
colonies
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 decreased over 30
years
 from 1980 to 2010,so the
amount
 of
honey
production
 dropped to 70000
tonnes
.From 1970 to 1980, the
number
 of
honey
-bee
colonies
 went up each year till it reached just under 4,5. The
number
 of
honey
-bee
colonies
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
showed
Change the form of the verb
shown
show examples
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the left chart. In 1970, the
number
 of
honey
-bee
colonies
 rose until 1980.
However
, the
number
 of
honey
-bee
colonies
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased every ten
years
 till it reached just under 2
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2010. The
last
 chart
showed
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
the
amount
 of
honey
production
.In 1970, the
amount
 of
honey
production
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 130,000
tonnes
 and
then
 the
amount
 dropped to 110,000
tonnes
 in 1980.
However
, between 1980 and 1990, the
amount
 rose to 120,000
tonnes
 and went up every ten
years
 till it reached just 70,000
tonnes
. In conclusion, both charts show the
number
 of
honey
-bee
colonies
 and the
amount
 of
honey
production
, both of them
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 deceased for 40
years
.
Submitted by sinh.ielts on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, honey-bee, colonies, amount, production, years, honey, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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