Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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Nowadays regarding the advent of technology progress ,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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remote
study
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is the most favourite method for presenting courses around the
world
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

without a high level of
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort

It seems that efforts may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to choose people to enter into programmes,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, It would be wonderful because educational justice around the
world
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is coming true dreams and many populations who
has
Change the verb form
have

The verb has does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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not
Correct your spelling
no

The word not doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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access to the best academic institution could be able to push on their own keyboards and connect to the academic classrooms in best countries ,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, It would not be a real
study
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

program in some important reasons ,
for example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, poor evaluation electronic systems on assessing learners level and understanding of topics ,poor communication with peers and will promote the solidarity around the
world
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,so , I believe the disadvantages of virtual
study
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are heavier than advantages and I will explain in detail. First of all, academic life is constructed based on campus life, designing a serious routine for students to participate in a classroom ,and have a panel of discussion with their own classmates and these methods of teaching could
be flourished
Wrong verb form
flourish

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb be flourished. Consider changing it.

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hidden talents of human and structured countries for future . In another aspect , tech- advancement has not yet succeeded in controlling the behaviour of human and teaching the skills and abilities which learners would need to shape their purposes for living in a society ,
in addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, poor evaluation systems during exams the another defect in virtual
study
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, easy access to the content of some units in the field of
study
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can prompt motivation among students and
more
Add a missing verb
is more

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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desirable for populations who are not able to access any schools and academic institutions in deprived areas . In conclusion , I believe
virtual
Add an article
the virtual

The noun phrase virtual study seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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study
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should not be replaced by campus
study
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because It could not build essential abilities for students in their future professions , detach people together and increase solidarity ,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, It seems to be able to bring more balance around the
world
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for deprived areas to familiar with
essential
Add an article
the essential

The noun phrase essential content seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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content of science .

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task achievement
The essay does not clearly address the task of discussing the advantages and disadvantages in a balanced way. The response seems biased towards a personal viewpoint without fully exploring both sides of the argument, which is essential in IELTS tasks.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak, with ideas not being fully developed or supported with relevant examples. There are also issues with paragraphing, with ideas sometimes not being clearly separated into distinct paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but not fully effective in setting up and summarizing the topic. They need to be clearer and more concise to encapsulate the main topic and the writer's viewpoint accurately.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear main points that are logically developed and supported with concrete examples. The ideas presented are often broad and need to be narrowed down to specific advantages and disadvantages that can be examined in detail.
task achievement
The essay has addressed the topic, but the response is incomplete because it does not cover the full range of advantages and is too focused on the disadvantages.
task achievement
The ideas could be clearer and more comprehensive. For a high IELTS score, it's important to articulate your points clearly and develop them comprehensively.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are lacking. These are necessary to support your main points and give your essay authenticity, making it more convincing to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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