With a great variety of social networking websites, people often add complete strangers to their lists. Do you think that this tendency helps people to find new friends or it's just a mean to increase their self-esteem. Justify your opinion with relevant examples.
At present, there are so many social media platforms , where people make new friends to create more social image . People have
divergent
opinion about ,whether it is good to connect new ones Add an article
a divergent
everyday
on Replace the word
every day
online
place to help them , or Add an article
an online
the online
it’s
only Correct word choice
whether it’s
mean
to Correct article usage
a mean
rise
their social values ; whatever it is, I am against with adding Correct your spelling
raise
strangers
to their lists ;this
essay will explain further
and provide a logical conclusion.
Firstly
, it goes without saying, in this
present era, generation
Correct article usage
the generation
are
Change the verb form
is
intacted
with on social media platforms to Correct your spelling
interacted
illusition
of popularity , they like to show more than reality, resulting its Correct your spelling
illusion
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
their
popularity more ;Change preposition
in their
For instance
,if we see an individuals
,who is Correct the article-noun agreement
individual
famous
face on social sites ,Add an article
a famous
its
considering those individuals has more followers or friends, the more well-known person he/she is, Replace the word
it's
it is
this
celebrity always share
their daily activity or any big achievement to create a good social image ,and Change the verb form
shares
this
trend is not only for famous man's ,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
everyone seeking attention more than others .
On the flip side , making offline friends on networking websites is better than online strangers
, because , not all unknown
will be good Correct your spelling
unknowns
wisher
, Fix the agreement mistake
wishers
sometimes
become Correct word choice
and sometimes
dangers
from Replace the word
dangerous
jealously
or rivalry . For Replace the word
jealousy
examples
, nowadays we Fix the agreement mistake
example
seen
that many people Wrong verb form
see
temt to
suicide Verb problem
commit
due to
depression or mental illness , that
cause modern platform harassment,cyber Correct pronoun usage
which
bulling
,viral negative thing that impact their career image , Correct your spelling
bullying
also
have security issues.
To conclude
, due to
the aforementioned reseons
, Correct your spelling
reasons
multitude
add complete Correct article usage
a multitude
strangers
to rise
their fame , and Verb problem
increase
faceing
negativity , which can take Correct your spelling
face
bad
turn in future ,Add an article
a bad
consequently
, In my perspective of view ,it is not always helpful to connect strangers
only for considering self- esteem or seeking help of them .Change preposition
with strangers
Submitted by tanjimrafel6 on
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coherence cohesion
There is a lack of clear logical structure throughout the essay which makes it difficult to follow. Make sure to organize your ideas coherently, using paragraphs effectively to separate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion were present, but they lacked clarity and strength. Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position, while your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your main points require more development and support. Use more detailed explanations and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments and make your point of view clearer to the reader.
task achievement
You provided a response to the task, but it was incomplete as it did not fully develop all parts of the prompt. Expand on your ideas, making sure to address all aspects of the question.
task achievement
The ideas within the essay are somewhat clear but not comprehensive. Aim to clarify and elaborate on your ideas to convey your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
The use of specific examples is necessary to illustrate your points, but your essay lacked sufficient and relevant examples. Include more examples that are directly related to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.