IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

What are the advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live or study abroad?

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Immigration has become a prevailing phenomenon in
this
Linking Words
 day and age, with an increasing number of individuals leaving from the original nation to another.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 impact is a double-edged sword depending on how we perceive the value of immigrating.
This
Linking Words
 essay will delve into the multifaceted reasons in detail. In our fast-paced society, people struggle to do their own business with a rushed mindset,
consequently
Linking Words
 ignoring the meaning of life. Especially in Asia, having an inevitable high pressure of mental status, in turn, leads to
we
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
hustle
Wrong verb form
hustling
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 for well-paid employment, turns out, that we need to pay for health to rejuvenate our energy. Immigrating to another country with highly-developed
health-care
Correct your spelling
health care
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 is often seen as a solution to tackle the circumstances in Asia.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, everything has its own price under the rule. Before individuals started becoming another nation’s citizens,
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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financial independence was paramount.
Due to
Linking Words
 the fact that the expenditure of immigration involves inescapable costs in detail, new immigrants have to be affordable.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, pursuing high-quality lives by immigrating has a bigger picture in the future, as opposed to living in an inherent country. More population, more opportunities. Regardless of finding
employments
Fix the agreement mistake
employment
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, studying, or living in the long run. In conclusion, whether or not
making
Wrong verb form
we make
show examples
 a decision
of leaving
Change preposition
to leave
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 our country, we have to think twice, to ensure what the aspects of leaving that we are looking for from our depths of heart. As long as
possessing
Wrong verb form
we possess
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 faith in the accessible targets that we can conduct,
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 would be a
well-investment
Correct your spelling
good investment
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 in the long-term.
Lastly
Linking Words
, there is a time in life,
we
Rephrase
when we
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 cannot connect the dots looking forward, we can only connect them looking
backwards
Rephrase
backwards
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. Because of the arguments above, do things if they are right from our standpoint.
Submitted by chrisliujuly on

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structure
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body and conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis statement, the body should contain separate paragraphs for each advantage and disadvantage, and the conclusion should summarily address the points made and restate your position.
cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow logically from the previous paragraph. Use appropriate linking words to connect ideas both within and across paragraphs.
support
Develop your main points with specific examples and explanations. This allows a full exploration of the advantages and disadvantages and demonstrates a full understanding of the topic.
task response
Respond fully to the task by addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic given. Ensure that each side is explored to some extent and clearly distinguish between them to avoid ambiguity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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