IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In recent years, ''responsible tourists'' have paid attention to preserving both culture and environment of the places they visit. However, some people say that it is impossible to be a ''responsible tourist''. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#years #tourists #attention #culture #environment #places #visit #people #tourist
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I believe that most locals generally love sharing
about
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apply
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their history and culture
to
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with
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 other people, they would be open to anyone who
are
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is
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 eager to learn about their backgrounds.
However
, some tourists may be a nuisance to
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others
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others
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other
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others
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 by having
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apply
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an
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apply
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ignorant and carefree
behavior
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behaviour
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. Understandably,
this
 may cause
negative
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a negative
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 stigma to tourists in general.
While
, in my opinion, any decent person can be a "responsible tourist". Being a "responsible tourist" revolves around respecting the culture and history,
while
also
 keeping the cleanliness of the place they explore.
This
 means, being mindful when listening or reading about the
locals
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local's
locals'
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 culture and history, putting the trash to where it should be, and not being loud to avoid disturbance to others. These are simple acts that should already be taught to almost everyone in their household, which is why most people should be able to follow these ethics even when travelling.
Hence
why
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apply
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, I strongly disagree that being a "responsible tourist" is not an unachievable task as it takes only a decent person to do so. Most people should
should
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apply
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be already to maintain a well-kept
behavior
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behaviour
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 and responsibility since their childhood, they only need to be mindful and implement it wherever they go. They must not forget that they must respect other places as they do in their homeland.
Submitted by anindya.khansalihara on

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Task Achievement
Your introduction does not adequately paraphrase the question and lacks a clear thesis statement outlining your position. Make sure to clearly state your viewpoint in the introduction to immediately convey your position on the topic.
Task Achievement
You need to work on developing your arguments with more specific explanations and examples. Relevant and specific examples are essential to support your points and make your arguments more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear logical progression of ideas. It is important to organize your essay with clear paragraphs that each have a main idea, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence where appropriate.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure you provide a clear conclusion that restates your position and summarizes your main points. Without a proper conclusion, the essay feels unfinished.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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