IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In recent years, ''responsible tourists'' have paid attention to preserving both culture and environment of the places they visit. However, some people say that it is impossible to be a ''responsible tourist''. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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I believe that most locals generally love sharing
about
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their history and culture
to
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 other people, they would be open to anyone who
are
Change the verb form
is

The plural verb are does not appear to agree with the singular subject anyone. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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 eager to learn about their backgrounds.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some tourists may be a nuisance to
Fix the agreement mistake
others

It seems that other may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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Correct pronoun usage
others
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others

It seems that other may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 by having
Correct article usage
apply
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an
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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ignorant and carefree
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour

The spelling of behavior is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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. Understandably,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 may cause
negative
Correct article usage
a negative

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 stigma to tourists in general.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in my opinion, any decent person can be a "responsible tourist". Being a "responsible tourist" revolves around respecting the culture and history,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 keeping the cleanliness of the place they explore.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 means, being mindful when listening or reading about the
locals
Change to a genitive case
local's
locals'

It appears that the word locals should use the genitive case. Consider changing the noun.

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 culture and history, putting the trash to where it should be, and not being loud to avoid disturbance to others. These are simple acts that should already be taught to almost everyone in their household, which is why most people should be able to follow these ethics even when travelling.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

why
Rephrase
apply

There may be an adverb issue here.

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, I strongly disagree that being a "responsible tourist" is not an unachievable task as it takes only a decent person to do so. Most people should
should
Remove the redundancy
apply

Oops! It appears that you typed should twice in a row. Consider deleting one of them.

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be already to maintain a well-kept
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour

The spelling of behavior is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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 and responsibility since their childhood, they only need to be mindful and implement it wherever they go. They must not forget that they must respect other places as they do in their homeland.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction does not adequately paraphrase the question and lacks a clear thesis statement outlining your position. Make sure to clearly state your viewpoint in the introduction to immediately convey your position on the topic.
Task Achievement
You need to work on developing your arguments with more specific explanations and examples. Relevant and specific examples are essential to support your points and make your arguments more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear logical progression of ideas. It is important to organize your essay with clear paragraphs that each have a main idea, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence where appropriate.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure you provide a clear conclusion that restates your position and summarizes your main points. Without a proper conclusion, the essay feels unfinished.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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