IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

In recent years, ''responsible tourists'' have paid attention to preserving both culture and environment of the places they visit. However, some people say that it is impossible to be a ''responsible tourist''. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#years #tourists #attention #culture #environment #places #visit #people #tourist
I believe that most locals generally love sharing
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their history and culture
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 other people, they would be open to anyone who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 eager to learn about their backgrounds.
However
, some tourists may be a nuisance to
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 by having
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ignorant and carefree
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. Understandably,
this
 may cause
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 stigma to tourists in general.
While
, in my opinion, any decent person can be a "responsible tourist". Being a "responsible tourist" revolves around respecting the culture and history,
while
also
 keeping the cleanliness of the place they explore.
This
 means, being mindful when listening or reading about the
locals
Change to a genitive case
local's
locals'
show examples
 culture and history, putting the trash to where it should be, and not being loud to avoid disturbance to others. These are simple acts that should already be taught to almost everyone in their household, which is why most people should be able to follow these ethics even when travelling.
Hence
why
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, I strongly disagree that being a "responsible tourist" is not an unachievable task as it takes only a decent person to do so. Most people should
should
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
be already to maintain a well-kept
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and responsibility since their childhood, they only need to be mindful and implement it wherever they go. They must not forget that they must respect other places as they do in their homeland.
Submitted by anindya.khansalihara on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your introduction does not adequately paraphrase the question and lacks a clear thesis statement outlining your position. Make sure to clearly state your viewpoint in the introduction to immediately convey your position on the topic.
Task Achievement
You need to work on developing your arguments with more specific explanations and examples. Relevant and specific examples are essential to support your points and make your arguments more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear logical progression of ideas. It is important to organize your essay with clear paragraphs that each have a main idea, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence where appropriate.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure you provide a clear conclusion that restates your position and summarizes your main points. Without a proper conclusion, the essay feels unfinished.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!