Some people believe that it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think small town life is more suitable. Discuss both sides

Infrastructure is
Correct article usage
a
show examples
cardinal role play in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society for
live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
a long life. Which is
impact
Add an article
the impact
an impact
show examples
on the children as they grow up in the
city
.
While
others think
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
area
is more suitable. My perspective both have positive and
nagative
Correct your spelling
negative
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
i will discuss both points in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
paragraph. It is a logical conclusion. To
initiate
Verb problem
begin
show examples
with, In urban
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
area
Add a comma
area,
show examples
many opportunities are available for
people
.
Apart from
this
,
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
has great aspects like
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
access to
easy visit
Correct your spelling
easy-to-visit
show examples
shopping malls, local
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
, hospitals and shops for purchasing goods and services in the
city
.
Further
transportation system is
convient
Correct your spelling
convenient
in urban
area
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
buses and trains.
Moreover
in the
city
lot of opportunities are available regarding jobs or business because in the
porsh
Change the capitalization
Porsh
show examples
area
many
people
established
Wrong verb form
establish
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their
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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over there for
making
Wrong verb form
make
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good
Correct article usage
a good
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profit
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
business
for instance
, many tourists
are traveling
Wrong verb form
travel
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to see the beauty of
city
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the city
show examples
and explore different places
such
as, museum, historical building, and investment in real estate as well.
On the contrary
, Many
people
think
to live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
in small towns
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
good but it many
disadvantage
Change to a plural noun
disadvantages
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
living in small towns
therefore
, no easy transport available and to much time consuming for go to
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
.
Due to
this
,
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
less
Correct word choice
small
show examples
population in rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
also
no
Add a missing verb
has no
show examples
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
opportunity for jobs
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
work or other
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
.
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
, society
don't
Change the verb form
doesn't
show examples
interact with other different cultural
people
.
To conclude
,
Although
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
has great aspects
according to
me for children rather than small towns and
also
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
depends upon the society of behaviour and parents.
Submitted by prit699731 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear, logical structure that guides the reader through the points being made. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next, showing the relationship between them.
coherence cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present, both lack clarity and focus. The introduction should clearly state what is to be discussed, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize the arguments presented without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
You attempted to support your main points with arguments, but the supporting details are often unclear or general. Providing specific examples can enrich your argument and make it more persuasive.
task achievement
The response does not fully meet the requirements of the task. The prompt requires a discussion of both sides of the argument, but your treatment of the topic is unbalanced and some points are underdeveloped.
task achievement
Your ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Try to make sure that each paragraph develops a single clear point, with explanations and examples directly related to the topic.
task achievement
Your essay lacks relevant and specific examples to strengthen the points made. Using specific, detailed examples help to illustrate and reinforce your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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