2.What is your proudest non-academic achievement?1.Please share your motivation for undertaking this programme?

My motivation for enrolling in

this

program emanates from my desire to distinguish myself from others who will work in the investment banking sector. A specialized education is essential for thriving in

this

competitive field. From a young age, I participated as a representative of my school in various mathematics and logic competitions. I enjoyed finding out how to solve mathematical problems and calculations.

This

aspiration guided my choice to seek a job involving numerical concepts. During my undergraduate studies, I had

special

Add an article

a special

show examples

interest in courses related to finance became evident.

Therefore

, I started investigating the different areas within the financial domain, discovering that investment banking fits best with my expectation of a dream job. To ensure that my decision was right, I contacted friends of my parents who worked in

this

field, they gave me informational conversations, which provided me with an understanding of the responsibilities, challenges, and expectations of the career. After the talks, I am confident that my chosen path aligns with my long-term aspirations. In the short term, after finishing the course, I would like to work in a large company. Recognizing my current knowledge, I need to deepen my specialization to excel in investment banking.

Consequently

, I am convinced that

this

program will equip me with the understanding and expertise to succeed.

Submitted by elenazheng1211 on Mon Dec 04 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates clear progression and structure, with logical sequencing of information. However, aim to improve the use of cohesive devices and topic sentences to enhance the readability and flow of your writing.

task achievement

While you addressed the prompt, your response could be improved by ensuring complete coverage of the task requirements. Develop your ideas further and provide more detailed examples to substantiate your motivation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

217 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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2.What is your proudest non-academic achievement?1.Please share your motivation for undertaking this programme?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The best way to reduce crime among youngsters is to teach parents good parenting skills. Do you agree or disagree.

Some people prefer to raise children in the cities while others believe that children should be raised in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some students work while studying.This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. what do you think are the cause of this ? what solution can you suggest?

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.