using social media as facebook,twitter is replacing face to face communication in this century. do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
It is undeniable that social media has played a prominent part in our previous lives, which presents a significant impact on people's lifestyles. In my opinion, the population find social publishing easier to use and the advantages more than disadvantages.
convincing arguments can be made that Facebook Twitter and Instagram created a new technology which makes them more beneficial than individual
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. To start with, the upgrade of the old-school strategy leads students and businessmen to a new generation that provides an easier lifestyle. Fix the agreement mistake
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In other words
, one can easily keep in touch with several members in the same time period; Linking Words
Therefore
, they would certainly be fostered to save their own money. Linking Words
Moreover
, research has found that being educated with a significant group of community will improve comprehensive and cognitive skills dramatically. Linking Words
For instance
, some universities use specific apps for teaching students, and most of them are video calls, Linking Words
As a result
, they are more able to obtain an enormous information at the same time. Linking Words
Lastly
, specifically, the majority have more benefits from using social media in order to achieve their tasks and jobs much better than face-to-face communication.
admittedly, Linking Words
physical
connection might have some distractions. the reason for Add an article
the physical
a physical
that is
communities are more likely to have their own private place in order to feel more comfortable. Linking Words
However
, they need more time to break their limit of being shy. Linking Words
Furthermore
, if one member company needs an emergency meeting for a specific issue, they need to purchase a huge amount of money in order to travel to communicate face to face.
In conclusion, having considered all the arguments above, I would conclude that using old-school conversation has fewer advantages. Linking Words
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While using
social media has more benefits Correct word choice
Using
overall
and Linking Words
encourage
people to be in Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
close
cycle.Correct article usage
a close
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Task Achievement
Introduction could be enhanced by presenting a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the question of whether the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages.
Task Achievement
Work on developing a clear position throughout the response, ensuring that all points made clearly support your overall argument in relation to the task question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Body paragraphs need clearer topic sentences that map out what the paragraph will discuss; this will help in guiding the reader through the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to improve the structure and flow of the essay.
Task Achievement and Coherence and Cohesion
Include more specific and relevant examples to support your points, ensuring they are clearly linked to the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to spelling ('Facebook Twitter and Instagram' should be punctuated correctly as 'Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram'), grammar, and punctuation to improve overall coherence.
Task Achievement
Conclude your essay with a restated position and a summary of the main points discussed, reinforcing your argument.