IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You recently bought a piece of computer equipment but it was broken. You work at home and you need this equipment for your work. Write a letter to the shop manager. In this letter: • describe the problem with the equipment • explain how this problem is affecting your work • say what you would like the shop to do

#piece #computer #equipment #work #home #shop #manager
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Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to bring your attention
about
Change preposition
to
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 the
last
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camera
Use synonyms
 I
purchaed
Correct your spelling
purchased
 from your store on 12
of
Change preposition
apply
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December 2023 My name is Sarah and I am
constant
Add an article
a constant
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 customer at your store. Being with I received the
camera
Use synonyms
 on the 13 of December 2023 unfortunately when I
open
Wrong verb form
opened
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 the package I found it damaged instantly , I tried to
tackel
Correct your spelling
tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem immediately but I couldn’t find the solution and the
camera
Use synonyms
 needs to
replace
Wrong verb form
be replaced
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. I need the
camera
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 instantly for my work I am
photographer
Add an article
a photographer
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 I have several occasions
this
Linking Words
 week and I have lots of
working
Replace the word
work
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 to do as you know
this
Linking Words
 is a critical part of my work
also
Linking Words
 I have to get the
camera
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 week to make sure my appointment with customers . I would be grateful to come up with a new
camera
Use synonyms
 or repair the
camera
Use synonyms
 , contact me if you have any questions. Yours faithfully, Sarah
Submitted by luhana.chii on

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Coherence Cohesion
Ensure proper use of punctuation, spacing, and paragraphs to enhance the letter's readability.
Coherence Cohesion
Develop your ideas in a clear, logical sequence with topic sentences that guide the reader through your arguments.
Coherence Cohesion
Work on creating a proper structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
Use varied and accurate vocabulary to present your issues and requests professionally.
Task Achievement
Focus on addressing all aspects of the task, elaborating on each point with specifics, consequences, and clear resolutions.
Task Achievement
A formal tone is necessary for this kind of correspondence. Avoid casual language and ensure formalities are observed.
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