You recently bought a piece of computer equipment but it was broken. You work at home and you need this equipment for your work. Write a letter to the shop manager. In this letter: • describe the problem with the equipment • explain how this problem is affecting your work • say what you would like the shop to do

#piece #computer #equipment #work #home #shop #manager

Dear Sir, I am writing

this

letter to bring your attention

about

Change preposition

show examples

the

last

camera

purchaed

Correct your spelling

purchased

from your store on 12

Change preposition

apply

show examples

December 2023 My name is Sarah and I am

constant

Add an article

a constant

show examples

customer at your store. Being with I received the

camera

on the 13 of December 2023 unfortunately when I

open

Wrong verb form

opened

show examples

the package I found it damaged instantly , I tried to

tackel

Correct your spelling

tackle

this

problem immediately but I couldn’t find the solution and the

camera

needs to

replace

Wrong verb form

be replaced

show examples

. I need the

camera

instantly for my work I am

photographer

Add an article

a photographer

show examples

I have several occasions

this

week and I have lots of

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

to do as you know

this

is a critical part of my work

also

I have to get the

camera

this

week to make sure my appointment with customers . I would be grateful to come up with a new

camera

or repair the

camera

, contact me if you have any questions. Yours faithfully, Sarah

Submitted by luhana.chii on Mon Dec 04 2023

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Coherence Cohesion

Ensure proper use of punctuation, spacing, and paragraphs to enhance the letter's readability.

Coherence Cohesion

Develop your ideas in a clear, logical sequence with topic sentences that guide the reader through your arguments.

Coherence Cohesion

Work on creating a proper structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Task Achievement

Use varied and accurate vocabulary to present your issues and requests professionally.

Task Achievement

Focus on addressing all aspects of the task, elaborating on each point with specifics, consequences, and clear resolutions.

Task Achievement

A formal tone is necessary for this kind of correspondence. Avoid casual language and ensure formalities are observed.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

159 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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