The table below shows the percentage of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011

The table below shows the percentage of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011
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The table provides information
of
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on
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the people who rode bicycles in a particular city in
year
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the year
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2012. In overview, many women were riding for the whole year as compared to men
in
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of
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all ages in 2012.
To begin
Linking Words
with, girls up to the
age
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of 9
years
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, were cyclists with a percentage of 52.5 and a slight difference of 1.3% was experienced because boys were 51.2 per cent.
Furthermore
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, more
females
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female
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teenagers ride bikes than males from the
age
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of 10 to 19
years
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,
this
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is clearly shown with 43.6% and 25.1% respectively. Moreso, another
age
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group to consider, both women and men at the
age
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of twenty to thirty-nine were only 10.8 per cent of male adults and 18.2 female adults who rode bicycles.
Moreover
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, during the period of 40-49
years
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, a sharp decrease occurred
to
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for
show examples
both genders
and
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apply
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hitting the lowest percentage of 13.7 and 9.3 for ladies and gents respectively.
Lastly
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. 60
years
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and above, there were many females who still have more energy to ride in comparison to males with 19.8% as to 14.6%.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
is clear that
,
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apply
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a large population of women were riders and a
fewer
Correct word choice
smaller
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number of men in each and every
age
Use synonyms
proportion.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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