Many people nowadays spend a large of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, many people's screen time is really high, which is inherently for
young
generation. It seems to me that the main reason for that Correct article usage
the young
it
is Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
all human Correct your spelling
that
being
can be put Fix the agreement mistake
beings
in
Change preposition
on
smartphone
.
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
Firstly
, phone
Correct article usage
the phone
it
is Correct pronoun usage
apply
resource
to access Add an article
a resource
to
information and numerous kinds of Change preposition
apply
entartainment
, Correct your spelling
entertainment
such
as social media, games and obviously, the Internet. This
gadget facilitate
remote work and flexibility, which gives you plentiful opportunities. Change the verb form
facilitates
Moreover
, Add an article
the smartphone
a smartphone
smartphone
can be used, Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
like
Change preposition
as
device
for Fix the agreement mistake
devices
self-improvment
or education. Correct your spelling
self-improvement
For instance
, relevant
example from my personal experience is I used to do all my Add an article
a relevant
the relevant
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
in
my devices every day, even rarely can do the same thing now. Change preposition
on
Nevertheless
, I have a lot of online friendships at present, so I use socail
Correct your spelling
social
medias
, as a primary means of communication.
Correct your spelling
media
On the other hand
, smartphone
is a huge distractor from real life and things, like face-to-face interactions or physical activities. It leads to decrease
in productivity, which consequences might be enormous. Correct article usage
a decrease
Besides
, without attention
you will be procrastinating all the time. Add a comma
attention,
For example
, the quarantine in 2020 led society to issues with motivation or wish to continue working and studying.
To sum up
, I assume that it is more
positive development, rather than negative. The possibilities you can take from Add an article
a more
smartphone
outweigh Correct article usage
a smartphone
disadvantages
of that.Correct article usage
the disadvantages
Submitted by katiakardash07 on
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coherence cohesion
You should ensure there is a clear introduction that presents a preview of the main points. Your main body paragraphs need to have clear topic sentences that make it evident what each paragraph will discuss. Transition signals could be improved to guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to the next. Work on sentence variety and the correct use of linking words.
task achievement
Your essay touches on the reasons and states an opinion on the development, but the ideas could be expanded further for clarity. There is an attempt to illustrate the points with examples, but these could be more specific and fully developed to support your arguments. It's important to really delve into 'why' people spend so much time on smartphones, and more than one reason should be explored for a high score. In addition, both sides of the 'positive or negative' aspect of the question should be addressed equally.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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