1.Please share your motivation for undertaking this programme?1.Please share your motivation for undertaking this programme?

My most significant non-academic accomplishment is the caretaking role for my siblings and actively helping my parents with their business. Beginning at the age of nine, I assumed responsibility for caring for my three younger sisters. With my father in China and my mother in the north of Spain, we only meet on Christmas and summer holidays. Daily phone calls from my parents reinforced the expectation that I oversee my sisters’ homework completion, ensure they went to bed on time, and talk to their teacher to make sure that they were working well at school. In sixth grade, my mother taught me how to get to school using public transportation, enabling me to take my sisters to school and back home. Upon returning home, my responsibilities extended to ensuring my sister had dinner, prepared clothes, and everything needed for the following day.
While
mornings required me to prepare breakfast for all four of us and wake them up.
This
routine persisted until I reached 18 when my mother returned to Madrid to reside with us. Personally,
this
experience gave me a lot of pressure at
first,
since I was
also
only a child, and I didn’t know much. Generally,
this
made me more responsible and courageous, fostering the development of problem-solving. It
also
accelerated my maturity and ability to handle high-pressure situations with a calm
demeanor
Change the spelling
demeanour
show examples
.
This
experience contributed to my personal growth, shaping me into a more responsible and resilient individual.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that the essay addresses all parts of the prompt clearly, providing a full response to the question.
task achievement
To improve clarity and comprehension, ideas should be expanded upon with clear articulation and progression throughout the essay.
task achievement
Support main points with more focused examples and details to enhance the overall relevance and effectiveness of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with a more logical structure. Utilize clear paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea, and make use of linking words to improve the flow between these ideas.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay. These paragraphs should succinctly introduce and summarize the main points of your discussion, respectively.
coherence cohesion
Further develop each main point with additional information or examples, ensuring that each idea is fully explored and relevant to your thesis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: