Some people claim that today’s technologies have changed the way children spend their free time, leading to some problems. Others say that this phenomenon benefits children in some respects. Consider both sides of this debate and present your own opinion.
Technology
, on which many people including children
rely, has become a more and more controversial topic. While
some people believe spending spare time
with technology
can benefit children
, others argue that it could lead to some detrimental effects. In the forthcoming paragraphs, both viewpoints will be explained, leading to my agreement with the latter statement.
To begin
with, those who support exposing children
to technology
even in their leisure time
claim that technology
offers anti-monotonous entertainment
which results in a well-spent spare time
. Examples can be seen in the way children
use the internet to play various genres of games and even they can try to explore how it is to become a streamer. Therefore
, children
have the freedom to decide if they want to have pure entertainment
or a combination of entertainment
and study. Eventually, the freedom which children
will encourage them to be creative and innovative. Moreover
, the proponent of this
statement promotes the idea that technology
as an entertainment
tool for children
could be considerably cheap. Initially
, it might cost some money to afford those devices and provide access to the internet but in the long term, children
can make the most of technology
without leaving their homes.
On the other hand
, some people, including me, believe that children
immersed in technology
are expected to have some addiction problems. With all this
endless entertainment
ranging from games to the realm of art, children
's bodies produce certain hormones that will trigger them to use technology
relentlessly. In many cases, this
will negatively affect the children
’s attention span and consequently
decrease their productivity in school. Additionally
, technologies that require less movement can contribute to the increasing trend of diabetes in children
. Finally
, technology
can prevent children
from having an ideal social life.
To conclude
, it is undeniable that having technology
in children
's circumstances outside of school term can benefit the children
to some extent at the expense of children
’s academic performance and health. Therefore
, I believe children
's immersing time
in technology
should be controlled.Submitted by k a l l a on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, you could mention specific studies or statistics related to the effects of technology on children's health and academic performance.
coherence cohesion
Make sure all paragraphs are well-balanced in length. The second body paragraph is quite detailed compared to the first one. Try to provide a more even distribution of content.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear logical structure with a cohesive progression of ideas. Each side of the argument is presented separately before the author’s own opinion is given in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets up the debate well and the conclusion logically summarizes the points made, showing a clear stance on the issue.