Advantages and disadvantages of watching tv please describe
Television
has long been a subject of debate, someone agree
and like to watch Change the verb form
agrees
television
, and others not
. Let's discuss more about the pros and cons of Add a missing verb
do not
televions
in Correct your spelling
televisions
television
peoples
live.
Change noun form
people's
Firstly
, television
can brings
information and knowledge. News channels keep us updated about the events of the world. Wrong verb form
bring
Example
of Correct article usage
An example
this
is the conflict between Israel and the
Palestina, we can know about Correct article usage
apply
this
watching
the channel news. Educational programs can teach about science, history and culture. Children are Change preposition
by watching
teching
about different subjects behind the Correct your spelling
teaching
kids
channels.
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
Secondly
, is a powerful mean
of relaxation after a difficult day. You can Fix the agreement mistake
means
laught
with a comedy, be emotional with a drama or be scared with a scary movie. We know that have families that don't see Correct your spelling
laugh
which
other all day long, but in the evening they sit Correct pronoun usage
each
in
the sofa and share Change preposition
on
your
feelings and experiences.
On the other point Correct pronoun usage
their
of
view is important to say that Change preposition
apply
stay
a long time in front of a TV Wrong verb form
staying
it
is not healthy, Correct pronoun usage
apply
pratice
exercise in preference outside exercises is good Correct your spelling
practising
to
mental and physical. Sedentarism is Change preposition
for
athe
sickess of the age. Moderation is the key. You can have the benefits of Correct your spelling
the
the
using the Correct article usage
apply
Television
and keep you
healthy Change the pronoun
your
life style
.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
lifestyle
while
someones
view Correct your spelling
some
television
as a source of bad habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
in
Change preposition
on
other
hand we have the people Correct article usage
the other
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
defends
the use to relax or to be Change the verb form
defend
informated
.Correct your spelling
informed
information
Submitted by bsb.roberta on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay begins with an introduction that outlines the topic, which is a good start. However, the introduction is not well-developed - it sets the topic but doesn't clearly state the writer's position on the issue. The paragraphs do not have a clear central idea and would benefit from clear topic sentences that introduce the key idea of each paragraph, followed by supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Your main ideas could be better developed with more extensive examples and clearer explanations to illustrate the points you're making. Make sure to provide relevant examples that support your main points. Additionally, close attention to the structure of your argument and the variety of sentence structure could greatly enhance the coherence and flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt, but the response could be more complete. There is an attempt to discuss both sides of the issue, as well as to provide a conclusion. However, the ideas presented need to be more fully extended, with a clearer line of argumentation and better addressing the question prompt. The conclusion could be strengthened to more effectively summarize the points made and re-state your position or provide a clear final judgement on the issue.
task achievement
It's crucial to go beyond stating a point; provide specific, detailed examples to back up the advantages and disadvantages you mention. For instance, when mentioning educational programs or news channels, specify how these influence viewers positively or negatively, rather than making a general statement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.