Advantages and disadvantages of watching tv please describe

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Television
has long been a subject of debate, someone
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
and like to watch
television
, and others
not
Add a missing verb
do not
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. Let's discuss more about the pros and cons of
televions
Correct your spelling
televisions
television
in
peoples
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people's
show examples
live.
Firstly
,
television
can
brings
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
information and knowledge. News channels keep us updated about the events of the world.
Example
Correct article usage
An example
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of
this
is the conflict between Israel and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Palestina, we can know about
this
watching
Change preposition
by watching
show examples
the channel news. Educational programs can teach about science, history and culture. Children are
teching
Correct your spelling
teaching
about different subjects behind the
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
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channels.
Secondly
, is a powerful
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
of relaxation after a difficult day. You can
laught
Correct your spelling
laugh
with a comedy, be emotional with a drama or be scared with a scary movie. We know that have families that don't see
which
Correct pronoun usage
each
show examples
other all day long, but in the evening they sit
in
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on
show examples
the sofa and share
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
feelings and experiences. On the other point
of
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apply
show examples
view is important to say that
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
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a long time in front of a TV
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is not healthy,
pratice
Correct your spelling
practising
exercise in preference outside exercises is good
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
mental and physical. Sedentarism is
athe
Correct your spelling
the
sickess of the age. Moderation is the key. You can have the benefits of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
using the
Television
and keep
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
healthy
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
. In conclusion,
while
someones
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
view
television
as a source of bad
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand we have the people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
defends
Change the verb form
defend
show examples
the use to relax or to be
informated
Correct your spelling
informed
information
.
Submitted by bsb.roberta on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay begins with an introduction that outlines the topic, which is a good start. However, the introduction is not well-developed - it sets the topic but doesn't clearly state the writer's position on the issue. The paragraphs do not have a clear central idea and would benefit from clear topic sentences that introduce the key idea of each paragraph, followed by supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Your main ideas could be better developed with more extensive examples and clearer explanations to illustrate the points you're making. Make sure to provide relevant examples that support your main points. Additionally, close attention to the structure of your argument and the variety of sentence structure could greatly enhance the coherence and flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt, but the response could be more complete. There is an attempt to discuss both sides of the issue, as well as to provide a conclusion. However, the ideas presented need to be more fully extended, with a clearer line of argumentation and better addressing the question prompt. The conclusion could be strengthened to more effectively summarize the points made and re-state your position or provide a clear final judgement on the issue.
task achievement
It's crucial to go beyond stating a point; provide specific, detailed examples to back up the advantages and disadvantages you mention. For instance, when mentioning educational programs or news channels, specify how these influence viewers positively or negatively, rather than making a general statement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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