These days, more and more people study or live abroad. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.
People
indeed tend to live outside their home base, even in the other country
to study or to live permanently. the main reason why they move
is because they think the educational system in the other country
is better. moreover
, job vacancies with better wages are also
provided in the country
where the educational system is preferable. this
phenomenon looks great because it contains several advantages. however
, living abroad also
includes several risks or challenges.
currently, the UK and the US are the favorite
countries for Change the spelling
favourite
people
, especially from Asia and Africa, to move
whether it is to study or to move
as a permanent resident. moving abroad is quite beneficial as people
tend to choose a better country
with a better quality, depending on what people
are looking for. speaking of the UK and the US, these countries provide better air, even the best educational system, and better paychecks, that will increase the quality of people
's lives.
however
, moving abroad still has several challenges or disadvantages. people
need to sacrifice their time not meeting their relatives for quite some time because, despite the distance, the price of the transportation will cost
a little too much. moving to a Verb problem
be
country
that people
have never been to before will be challenging because they are not familiar with the culture, even the local languages they speak. so if people
consider moving abroad, they have to learn about the country
extra, to survive and achieve their goals there.
in the end, people
have the right to decide which path of life they want to take. sometimes, their life ambition forces them to move
to another country
. stay and focusing
on the home base or Wrong verb form
focus
move
abroad will have advantages and disadvantages on its own, so people
need to be wise and be well-prepared for the decisions that they will make.Submitted by semangatbanget.s2 on
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task achievement
Task response needs considerable improvement. While the essay touches upon the advantages and disadvantages of studying or living abroad, it fails to provide a balanced or comprehensive exploration of the topic. Try to fully answer the question by providing equal discussion to both sides of the argument, and ensure that the conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion can be improved. Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea. Use a range of linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs, and work on presenting a clear progression of thought throughout the essay. The introduction and conclusion are present, yet they could be more impactful and reflective of the main points discussed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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