IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'Social media has had a negative impact on society.'

#media #impact #society
By
Change preposition
Due to
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 growing technologies and
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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time
 usage of smartphones and social
media
 applications by folks, some
people
 claim that digital communication applications
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 a bad effect on society. Actually, I totally agree with
this
 attitude,
accordingly
 I think youngsters
stuck
Add a missing verb
are stuck
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 in digital
platforms
 and it has lots of disadvantages for
crowd
Add an article
the crowd
a crowd
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.
Firstly
, one of the worst
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
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 that
people
stuck
Add a missing verb
are stuck
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 in
due to
 social
media
 is procrastination and laziness,
specially
Replace the word
especially
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 teenagers and youngsters.
For instance
, when they see some yellow content on these
platforms
 and
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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uncountable
Add an article
an uncountable
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 amount of
time
 it accounts for body fat and eye diseases,
hence
people
 waste a lot of
time
 in front of the screen and they
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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 control themselves.
Secondly
, using communication apps without any limitation and control will
reason for
Verb problem
cause
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 misunderstanding and misconception about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life among
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
, they conceive that life should be full of expensive enjoyable hobbies and life should be full of luxury jewelries and stuffs. Even, spending lots of
time
 on apps will
gives
Wrong verb form
give
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lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of willpower to crowds too
due to
 their addiction to scrolling. On the whole, in point of my view, mostly social
media
platforms
 will cause
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a lot of negative effect on individuals and it leads
people
 to
worst
Correct word choice
worse
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 situations. I personally, most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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, try to avoid using social
media
 applications, because I
have
Verb problem
am
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awareness
Replace the word
aware
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about
Change preposition
of
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negative
Correct article usage
the negative
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 impacts of these
platforms
,
instead
 of
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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I try to visit
people
 physically and
make
Verb problem
have
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a
Remove the article
apply
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better communication with them.
Submitted by akbargh1995 on

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introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The test taker should provide a clear thesis statement at the beginning and a summarizing conclusion at the end to frame the discussion.
supported main points
The main points require better support through concrete examples or evidence. The arguments should not be just mentioned; they should be explained and exemplified to convey their relevance to the given topic.
logical structure
The test taker should ensure that the ideas flow logically and are well-organized. The use of cohesive devices to connect ideas can help achieve better clarity and structure in the essay.
complete response
The response needs to address all parts of the task. All aspects of the statement should be discussed to fulfill the requirements of the task.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarity and comprehensive development of ideas are crucial. The test taker should work on expanding and clarifying their points to make them more persuasive and easier to understand.
relevant specific examples
Specific examples or data should be included to support the points made. These examples need to be directly relevant to the arguments and not based on generalizations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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