Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views

In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
days, a lot of
animals
are in danger of
extinction
, and governments should take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
useful action towards that. Nowadays we have
zoos
to keep some
animals
for
entertaining
Replace the word
entertainment
show examples
aims and
also
take
care
of some unique
types
of
animals
, and some people say that we shouldn't use
zoos
as a hobby and
earning
Wrong verb form
earn
show examples
money for
entertaining
Replace the word
entertainment
show examples
, but on the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, other folks have different thought about
zoos
, they
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
that we should have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
entertaining side too, to can earn enough money to keep and
care
better to
animals
, and I personally believe if we spend
zoos
income for
animals
it will be a positive attitude. Some individuals disagree
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
keeping
animals
in
zoos
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they believe that
zoos
set
Add a missing verb
are set
show examples
up just for
entertaining
Replace the word
entertainment
show examples
reasons and
earning
Change the verb form
to earn
show examples
money for
zoo's
Change noun form
zoo
show examples
owners. They say we should give freedom to all
types
of
animals
and they should live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
, not in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos
.
For instance
, elephants and turtles or even lions should be in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
. To be honest, I
am disagree
Change the verb form
disagree
show examples
with these
types
of opinions, because for some kinds of
animals
, being in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos
is
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
safer than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, some folks believe that having
zoos
are vital and essential for
animals
and
also
it ecologically important to them, because unfortunately some
types
of
animals
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
danger of
extinction
and we should keep some of them
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos
and take
care
of them and
also
scientists should have some investigation about their environments and causes of
extinction
. With
this
opinion, these days ,
zoos
are more important than before and they should
look
Wrong verb form
be looked
show examples
after by the governments and
also
people.
For instance
, some kinds of Iranian tigers are in danger of
extinction
and
actually
Add a comma
actually,
show examples
we should leave them alone in jungles and
nature
and we can get some
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
from
zoos
. All in all, in my point of view, the most vital reason for having
zoos
is
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
show examples
distinctions and we should take more
care
of them in
zoos
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people don't need to be upset
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
keeping
animals
in
zoos
,
actually
Rephrase
apply
show examples
if the
zoos
capital, spend for
animals
and
zoos
' costs, it will we reasonable to have even more
zoos
.
Submitted by akbargh1995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You need to maintain a clear position throughout the response to ensure that your essay answers the question explicitly and maintains a consistent viewpoint. Ambiguities can reduce the effectiveness of the argument presented.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a more logical structure in your paragraphs by presenting a clear topic sentence followed by supporting ideas and concluding sentences. This can be aided by the use of linking words that establish relationships between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively encapsulate the topic and your perspective on the issue. These should not only bookend your body paragraphs but also clearly outline and summarize the central themes of your essay. Make your stance evident in the conclusion.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific and relevant examples. The use of generalized statements weakens the argument. The specificity adds credibility to your claims and demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • captivity
  • natural habitat
  • artificial enclosures
  • genetic diversity
  • animal welfare
  • conservation efforts
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • education platform
  • breeding programs
  • reintroduction
  • psychological suffering
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!