Some people think that all lawbreakers should be taken into prison. In contrast, others believe there are better alternatives (for example, doing work or learning skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #lawbreakers #prison #contrast #alternatives #work #skills #community

By making mistakes, some people have different ideas about

this

issue. Some of them want to immediately judge

lawbreakers

and impose punishments by sending them to

prison

On the other hand

, some individuals disagree and believe that we shouldn't teach proper

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

by keeping them in

prison

. In my opinion, the second perspective is better for teaching

lawbreakers

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

, and forgiveness has better consequences than harsh decisions. Some people believe that we should throw

lawbreakers

into

prison

immediately to punish them for their mistakes and teach them that breaking the law is not a good thing in life.

For instance

, when

someone

has a car accident, they should be held in

prison

. In my opinion,

this

is not a proper idea because maybe the car was broken down and the driver couldn't use the brakes, so it was not the driver's fault. It was an unwanted accident.

Additionally

, if we imprison

someone

, we will waste their life and they may learn more dangerous things in

prison

from other prisoners.

On the other hand

, some open-minded individuals believe that we should use alternative methods to teach

lawbreakers

to have better

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

For example

, when

someone

accidentally breaks a shop's window, maybe they didn't intend for it to happen. I agree with

this

perspective. We should have several alternative ways to teach

lawbreakers

and raise their awareness. Kindness and forgiveness always yield better results in changing people's thoughts and attitudes. In conclusion, when

someone

makes a mistake, it is not a good idea to send them to

prison

. We should

also

be kind to

lawbreakers

and have more alternative ways to teach them how they should live. Spreading kindness and giving them more time to change their attitude and

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

is essential.

Submitted by akbargh1995 on Tue Dec 05 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and subsequent sentences should logically elaborate on this.

coherence cohesion

Develop your arguments with more detailed and specific examples. The examples you provide should directly support the main points and your opinion, serving to effectively strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Be sure to fully address all parts of the task. Your response should cover both sides of the argument as well as your own opinion to ensure a complete response to the question.

task achievement

Make your ideas more comprehensive by expanding on them with further explanation, depth, and insight. This will provide a thorough understanding of your perspective to the reader.

task achievement

Incorporate a wider variety of specific and relevant examples to support your points and opinion. The more detailed and pertinent the examples, the better they will serve to substantiate your argument and demonstrate a robust understanding of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Incarceration
Deterrent
Violate
Societal norms
Public safety
Rehabilitation
Recidivism
Reintegrate
Justice system
Punishment
Community service
Skills training
Social problems
Reform
Exacerbate

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Some people think that all lawbreakers should be taken into prison. In contrast, others believe there are better alternatives (for example, doing work or learning skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Rich countries often give financial aid to poor countries, but it does not solve the poverty, so rich countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than the financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that living ịn big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

nuclear power is far too dangerous, therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy.to what extent do you agree.

International travel has many advantages to both travelers and the country that they visited. Do Advantages outweigh the disadvantages?