Some people think that all lawbreakers should be taken into prison. In contrast, others believe there are better alternatives (for example, doing work or learning skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

By making mistakes, some people have different ideas about
this
issue. Some of them want to immediately judge
lawbreakers
and impose punishments by sending them to
prison
.
On the other hand
, some individuals disagree and believe that we shouldn't teach proper
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
by keeping them in
prison
. In my opinion, the second perspective is better for teaching
lawbreakers
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, and forgiveness has better consequences than harsh decisions. Some people believe that we should throw
lawbreakers
into
prison
immediately to punish them for their mistakes and teach them that breaking the law is not a good thing in life.
For instance
, when
someone
has a car accident, they should be held in
prison
. In my opinion,
this
is not a proper idea because maybe the car was broken down and the driver couldn't use the brakes, so it was not the driver's fault. It was an unwanted accident.
Additionally
, if we imprison
someone
, we will waste their life and they may learn more dangerous things in
prison
from other prisoners.
On the other hand
, some open-minded individuals believe that we should use alternative methods to teach
lawbreakers
to have better
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
For example
, when
someone
accidentally breaks a shop's window, maybe they didn't intend for it to happen. I agree with
this
perspective. We should have several alternative ways to teach
lawbreakers
and raise their awareness. Kindness and forgiveness always yield better results in changing people's thoughts and attitudes. In conclusion, when
someone
makes a mistake, it is not a good idea to send them to
prison
. We should
also
be kind to
lawbreakers
and have more alternative ways to teach them how they should live. Spreading kindness and giving them more time to change their attitude and
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
is essential.
Submitted by akbargh1995 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and subsequent sentences should logically elaborate on this.
coherence cohesion
Develop your arguments with more detailed and specific examples. The examples you provide should directly support the main points and your opinion, serving to effectively strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Be sure to fully address all parts of the task. Your response should cover both sides of the argument as well as your own opinion to ensure a complete response to the question.
task achievement
Make your ideas more comprehensive by expanding on them with further explanation, depth, and insight. This will provide a thorough understanding of your perspective to the reader.
task achievement
Incorporate a wider variety of specific and relevant examples to support your points and opinion. The more detailed and pertinent the examples, the better they will serve to substantiate your argument and demonstrate a robust understanding of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Incarceration
  • Deterrent
  • Violate
  • Societal norms
  • Public safety
  • Rehabilitation
  • Recidivism
  • Reintegrate
  • Justice system
  • Punishment
  • Community service
  • Skills training
  • Social problems
  • Reform
  • Exacerbate
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