IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

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There is no doubt that we are living in an era in which most
people
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use
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 social
media
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 more than ever before. Some
people
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 have the opinion that the production of these social
media
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 is very useful for today’s life, but there are still some
people
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 who think that having these social networks is bringing a lot of bad results to society. I suppose that social
media
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 countless benefits for us, which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, it is understandable that several
people
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 thought that social
media
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 have made society more and more toxic.
This
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 is because, in the old days, there weren’t internet networks, they communicated with each other only by phone calls or when they had free
time
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, they would be willing to meet each other to talk right away. In actual fact, everything turns out to be in vain for
people
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 nowadays to try to start a conversation with someone else who can’t peel their eyes away from their phones at the
time
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, which is
also
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 incredibly frustrating
as well
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apply
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. They don’t interact much with the
people
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 around them, which affects their social and communication skills as they become more passive or
become
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a poor listener with difficulties in carrying a conversation or getting a point across.
Also
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, they have problems making
friends
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 and will start isolating themselves. Things will surely get worse when those
people
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 spend less
time
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 communicating with other members of their own family.
On the other hand
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, it is an undeniable occurrence that many
people
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 prefer to
use
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 social
media
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 to chat with
friends
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 without having to commute to the venues. As for youngsters, nowadays, almost every child is provided a smartphone by their parents. The
time
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 that the Internet takes is for both studying and entertaining together, keeping them updated. Just sitting at home, they can talk to
people
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 with the help of interconnected platforms. They make it easier for you and your
friends
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 to make
this
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 world a small village. Currently, there are many social
media
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 that make it easy for
people
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 to share many things with their
friends
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such
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 as joys or trips to be able to keep as the happiest memories. In short,
although
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 there are always exceptions/
Although
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 temptations to do with the excessive
use
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 of high-tech gadgets keep leaning on your doorbell and lead to several detrimental impacts, I still strongly believe that social
media
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 have a lot of benefits for us. What actually matters would be that whether these platforms bring along a beneficial or harmful tendency depends on how we make
use
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 of them.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should contain a single main idea, with subsequent sentences elaborating on this idea. Avoid unnecessary repetition and focus on creating a progression of ideas throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay should include a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should outline your main argument or approach to the question, while the conclusion should summarise your key points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples or explanations. While some general statements are made, your essay would benefit from more detailed examples that support your argument about the advantages and disadvantages of social media.
task achievement
To fully respond to the task, ensure that your essay addresses the question from both sides evenly and concludes with a clear personal stance. Include specific details and development of your ideas to enrich the content and fully satisfy the task requirements.
task achievement
Clarify and expand upon your ideas to help the reader comprehend the points you are trying to make. Aim to present comprehensive arguments with clarity. This can be done by providing more analysis and explanation of how social media impacts young people and their relationships.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant, specific examples that directly relate to your main points. Use these examples to illustrate your arguments about the impact of social media on personal relationships effectively, providing concrete illustrations of its benefits and drawbacks.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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