Boxing is a blood sport which often results in physical injury. It is inappropriate for this sport to exist in the modern age. Do you agree or disagree?
Box
is a blood sport which often results in physical injury. There is an opinion that this
sport should be banned. In my opinion, Add an article
the box
box
actually can cause some injuries, but there will be many other bad aspects if we Fix the agreement mistake
boxes
ban
it
, Correct pronoun usage
them
that is
why I disagree.
Nowadays, the box
is a part of world
economy, Add an article
the world
it
means that the prohibition of the Correct pronoun usage
which
box
will decrease the number of workplaces of box
staff, coaches, TV channels which broadcast box
matches, staff of these channels, groups where kids are training and boxers themselves. Thus
, many people
will lose their jobs, which can drop world
economy. Correct article usage
the world
Moreover
, in the modern box
there are Add a comma
box,
people
with special education which
are named Correct pronoun usage
who
referee
who can stop a match at any point if it becomes dangerous Fix the agreement mistake
referees
that
makes it even safer.
Correct pronoun usage
which
On the other hand
, it is evident why there is an opinion to ban
the box
. In the past, many sportsmen got injured due to
Replace the word
boxing
box
, Wrong verb form
boxing
besides
, some of them even became invalids because of many hits to their heads which leads
to some troubles with their Wrong verb form
led
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
brain
. Fix the agreement mistake
brains
However
, in my view, there were not so many people
whose lives were broken due to
box
activities in comparison with the amount of people
who will suffer if box
disappears.
Correct article usage
the box
To sum up
, Add an article
the box
box
actually can cause some health problems, Fix the agreement mistake
boxes
however
, that is
the only reason why we can ban
Add an article
the box
box
. Fix the agreement mistake
boxes
Also
there are some factors why we should not Add a comma
Also,
such
as:
many fans of Remove the comma
apply
box
, many Add an article
the box
people
who can lose their jobs if we ban
it and the economy drop. That is
why I think the box
can exist in the modern world.Submitted by mrtwaterr on
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task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task. It is necessary to fully respond to the question by agreeing or disagreeing with the statement and to maintain a consistent position throughout the essay. Explore the topic from multiple angles and ensure each point is fully elaborated upon to meet the task requirements.
task achievement
The essay lacks clarity in expressing ideas, with some sentences needing more focus and elaboration to make the argument more persuasive. Make sure the ideas are comprehensive and provide sufficient detail to substantiate your points.
task achievement
The essay provides a basic structure but needs to present clearer examples that directly support the arguments. Specific examples will enhance the relevance of your points to the topic and strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay follows a logical structure with clear and cohesive paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea supported by relevant information, allowing for better coherence and ease of understanding.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to include both an effective introduction and a conclusion. The introduction should set up the topic and your stance clearly, while the conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points and restate your position.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with clear and relevant explanations, examples, or arguments. This will provide better cohesion and make the essay more compelling and coherent.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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