The number of old people is increasing in many countries. Some people think this causes problems, whilst other people think that old people have an important role to play. How far do you agree or disagree

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The population of old
people
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in
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apply
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all around
world
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the world
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is an increasingly
worring
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worrying
issue. Some
people
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believe it has many grave consequences,
while
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rest
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the rest
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of
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people
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the people
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are of the opinion that
play
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plays
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a key role in
society
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.
This
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essay will discuss both and provide my personal opinion. On the one hand, it is argued that old
people
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benefit our
society
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.
To begin
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with,
this
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is supported by the fact that they are not only
knowlegeable
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knowledgeable
, but
also
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experienced. Thereby making them act successfully in
society
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.
For example
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,
rate
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the rate
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of
criminal
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crime
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among old
people
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are
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is
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considerably lower than
youth
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among youth
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.
In addition
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, they can help
people
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in
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with
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various types of
issue
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issues
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, so
people
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especially young
people
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can choose the best way in their lives.
Therefore
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, it is somehow plausible why some
people
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believe they play
key
Add an article
a key
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role in
society
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.
On the other hand
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, the need to consider economics is
also
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felt.
Firstly
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, most of them cannot work efficiently even some of them cannot work ,so they are detrimental
for
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to
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econemics
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economics
and we cannot boost
econemics
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economics
economic
. Take developed countries as an example, they
dont
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don't
allow old
people
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to immigrate to their countries
due to
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their ages.
Moreover
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, governments have to spend large sums of money to provide decent healthcare for them and
also
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prepare some specific facilities
becuase
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because
significant numbers of them have limited movement.
As a result
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, it can be certainly said that
increasing
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the increasing
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number of old
people
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is considered a negative trend. All
thing
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things
show examples
considered,
although
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there are some plus points in increasing
number
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the number
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of old
people
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, it is
obviaous
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obvious
it has many grave consequences
such
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as making
problem
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problems
show examples
in terms of
econemics
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economics
economic
and providing proper health care and facilities.
Submitted by behshad_arabzadeh on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear, logical structure which makes it harder to follow. Make sure to outline your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be followed by supporting sentences.
task achievement
You need to clearly state your position on the issue. This essay partially addresses all parts of the task. However, it is important to develop your arguments and viewpoints fully to achieve higher clarity and to comprehensively address the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • public pension systems
  • healthcare services
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • birth rates
  • valuable knowledge
  • transmission of cultural and practical knowledge
  • family cohesion
  • healthcare advancements
  • age-related conditions
  • volunteering
  • community involvement
  • mutual support
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