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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or college lecturer. Write at least 150

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or college lecturer. Write at least 150
#graphs #show #figures #hours #stress #levels #professionals #eight #groups #information #university #college #lecturer
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The bar chart illustrates
average
Change the article
an average
the average
show examples
 number of working
hours
Use synonyms
 in a
week
Use synonyms
 divided by eight groups of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the pie chart depicts the
stress
Use synonyms
 level between the professionals.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 entrepreneur has the highest number of working
hours
Use synonyms
 in a
week
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 lecturers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 the least.
However
Linking Words
, in terms of
stress
Use synonyms
 level,
lectures
Correct your spelling
lecturers
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the most who
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 experienced
stress
Use synonyms
 in their job,
while
Linking Words
 programmers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 merely tension. In terms of working time,
businessman
Fix the agreement mistake
businessmen
show examples
 spend almost 75
hours
Use synonyms
 in a
week
Use synonyms
, followed by movie producers with just over 50
hours
Use synonyms
 and doctors
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 approximately 50
hours
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, authors consume more than 25
hours
Use synonyms
 which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 higher than software engineers, lawyers, and Chefs. Lecturers,
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the least, accounted for under 25
hours
Use synonyms
for working
Change preposition
of work
show examples
 in a
week
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, lecturers are experiencing more
stress
Use synonyms
 in their employment (25%) even though their working
hours
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
minimum
Correct word choice
minimal
show examples
 compared to other occupations.
Next,
Linking Words
movie producers
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the second position with 25%, followed by doctors, executives, and chefs with 15%, 11%, and 10%, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, lawyers and writers have the same rates, and programmers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 only 5%.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, week, stress with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • analogy
  • correlation
  • data-driven
  • discernible trends
  • discrepancy
  • empirical evidence
  • fluctuations
  • longitudinal study
  • meticulously
  • percentile
  • predominantly
  • quantitative analysis
  • spectrum
  • statistical significance
  • threshold
  • variances
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