Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Undoubtedly, abundant
choices
are presented to us nowadays. Some people
agree that it can cause waste
of Correct article usage
a waste
time
and resources, while
other
contend that it can be beneficial for the nation’s economic development and personal development as well. From my point, I completely agree Fix the agreement mistake
others
with
that it can be harmful to individuals.
Change preposition
apply
To begin
with, too many options usually waste numerous
Fix the agreement mistake
a lot of
time
and energy, because people
have to spend more time
on
selecting and comparing, which means making Change preposition
apply
choices
will be more difficult. Online shopping is such
an example. If a person wants to buy a white T-shirt online, normally he has to search on several websites and applications, then
amounts of information presented to him, with different price
, Fix the agreement mistake
prices
brand
, Fix the agreement mistake
brands
fabric
and Fix the agreement mistake
fabrics
color
, Change the spelling
colour
therefore
, he may need to go through more details for a longer time
rather than go directly into an offline shop and choose one.
Additionally
, increasing pollution issues will be caused due to
too many options, since supply exceeds demand, which means some of them must be abandoned and threw
away. Wrong verb form
thrown
For instance
, fashion
industry plays a vital role in economies Correct article usage
the fashion
as well as
brings severe negative impacts on environment
, especially Add an article
the environment
the
fast fashion. Every year, numerous rivers and water resources are polluted in developing countries Correct article usage
apply
due to
the chemicals in cloth production, and wildlife suffers without the
exception. Correct article usage
apply
Hence
, more and more people
are concerning
about fashion sustainability.
It is true that Wrong verb form
concerned
given
more Wrong verb form
giving
choices
can bring advantages, as it can enrich choice diversity and promote customization for someone who has special requirements such
as disabled or the
older Correct article usage
apply
people
. However
, the demerits cannot be neglected for the waste has become more severe than before.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that the demerits exceed the merits on
many aspects as there are too many Change preposition
in
choices
for us.Submitted by gaott0617 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure, with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion. Your essay exhibits these components, but the ideas could be organized more effectively to improve the logical progression.
coherence cohesion
Work on utilizing a range of cohesive devices beyond basic connectors. Aim to use referencing, substitution, and discourse markers to enhance cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with more detailed examples and evidence. While your essay contains examples, they are somewhat simplistic and could be elaborated on with more specific and relevant details.
task achievement
Your essay adequately addresses the task, providing a clear position throughout the response. Continue refining your ability to fully answer all parts of the prompt with nuanced perspectives.
task achievement
Although your ideas are generally clear, take the opportunity to expand and deepen the analysis of each point to demonstrate thorough understanding and comprehensive coverage of the topic.
task achievement
Include a wider range of relevant, specific examples to support your ideas. This will help to demonstrate your understanding of the topic and your ability to provide an insightful analysis.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.