Some people think it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that girls and boys benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss these two views and give your opinion.

in
this
era, education is the first concern for everyone, especially for the parents. Pros and cons of system education are many argued in the socialize. Some people say girls and boys are better when their parents select separate
schools
for them but other people say mixed
schools
are more
benefits
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
. On the one hand, different
genders
schools
will cut down on bullying about sexuality, as
same gender
Add a hyphen
same-gender
show examples
, students only interact with their
genders
and they know what they cannot with their friends. In my opinion, different
genders
schools
have a good choice when the parents need a special system for their children and they are not worried about sexual bullying because it is the minimum number of cases in the different
genders
schools
.
Hence
sexual harassment cases will be reduced.
On the other hand
, mixed
schools
are familiarly in public because the school gives a
challeng
Correct your spelling
challenge
for the children when they collaborate with young females and males. They will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
play, have a conversation and share about their activities in school or in their houses.
Thus
they will be confident in front of the other
genders
. In my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
mixed
schools
will
make
Verb problem
give
show examples
students strong personality because they through
a studies
Correct the article-noun agreement
studies
a study
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
hard
Correct article usage
a hard
show examples
environment in mixed
schools
. In conclusion, separate
schools
and mixed
schools
have the same goal to
gives
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
the best education for children,
although
with
a different systems
Correct the article-noun agreement
different systems
a different system
show examples
. Two
genders
will grow up with their experience in
schools
or society and they will do it based on what they learned.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure
Consider expanding your introduction by clearly outlining the points you intend to cover, and concluding with a precise statement that not only reiterates your stance but also summarizes both views quickly.
Coherence
Use a wider range of linking devices to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, ensuring logical progression of ideas.
Support
Ensure all main points are well-developed with clear, specific examples and explanations. Avoid overgeneralized statements.
Task Completion
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that both sides of the argument are discussed equally before giving your own opinion. Make your position more prominent throughout the essay.
Grammar
Be cautious of grammar and punctuation errors which may hinder the clarity of your arguments - proofread your work carefully.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: