"Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
are falling sick more often, so many people
advocate that the government ought to change its focus to health
awareness programs. In my opinion, I strongly agree with this
notion and my opinion will be discussed in further
paragraphs along with
a sensible conclusion.
First and foremost, preventive health
; it
covers all actions taken to prevent a disease, to ensure early diagnosis of any Correct pronoun usage
apply
health
problem and to stop or slow down the progression of the disease. Preventive health
is divided into three categories: primary, secondary and tertiary. Vaccinations, for example
, protect against many infectious diseases and are primary prevention. Smallpox killed an estimated 300 million people
in the 20th century. After the smallpox vaccine was discovered, this
number decreased worldwide and today it has been completely eradicated. As in this
example, it is possible to prevent some diseases while
treatment is not possible.
,Secondly
, to illustrate some other points in support of this
statement, it is true that treatment for any disease can lead to side effects. As a result
, one has to deal with long-term health
problems that can create financial burden
and mental stress. Fix the agreement mistake
burdens
For instance
, many people
struggle with post covid
Replace the word
post-COVID
health
issues such
as hair loss, diabetes, heart problems and other
more. Correct word choice
apply
Therefore
, people
should realise the importance of this
and pay a little more attention to their health
. Also
, institutions should consider budgeting for awareness programmes instead
of hospitals for treatment. In conclusion, with a few precautions and awareness, we can prevent major health
problems. I believe that the above-mentioned points strongly support my view.Submitted by dytayseozgul on
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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay should present a clear structure with an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Throughout the essay, ideas should be logically connected, and paragraphing should be used effectively to guide the reader through the argument.
Task Achievement
Ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task, presenting a clear opinion, which is relevant to the prompt. Develop your ideas fully, providing comprehensive details and examples where appropriate.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion