IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, some
students
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 in university tend to focus on their main
subjects
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,
while
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others
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others are
others were
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 eager to learn more
subjects
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 and broaden their knowledge. There are certain advantages and disadvantages
in
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on
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 both
side
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sides
show examples
, the above essay will explain about it. On the one hand, some learner wants to learn other
subjects
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in addition
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 to their main
subjects
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. It, of course, has a lot of
benfits
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benefits
 to the
student
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students
show examples
 who are going to face the job-seeking problem. Attending more
subjects
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 can help them to improve their problem-solving skills and make them more confident to address issues.
For example
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, learners study in computer science major, if they learn some language and management information, they can be more employable
due to
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 they getting strong communication skills and organization
ability
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abilities
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.
Also
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,
for
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apply
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students
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 learn liberal arts or language,
they
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apply
show examples
need to gain some information
technological
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and technological
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 knowledge so that it can provide more essential skills
on
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in
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 their work.
As a result
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, those who learn additional
subjects
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would
Wrong verb form
will
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 gain more career opportunities and complete their work more effectively.
However
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, the
students
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 focus on their main
subjects
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 can be more professional and well-skilled than others because of digging into the
subjects
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. When they prepare to go into the job market, they could find that employers would seek
for
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apply
show examples
workers like them who are
proficiency
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proficient
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 in their expertise. For
instanse
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instance
, if
the
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apply
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computer
sciense
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science
students
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that
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apply
show examples
are proficient and have got enough project practice when they were in university, it indicates that they already have to join a programming group in a company
immidietly
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immediately
. But, sometimes, if
students
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 don't have other fields of knowledge, it would
prevented
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prevent
show examples
 them from attending
high level
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high-level
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 project which requires some additional ability,
such
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 as speaking
foreign
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a foreign
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 language or giving
clear
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a clear
the clear
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 presentation. In conclusion, whether
students
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 want to learn other
subjects
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additionally
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 or tend to focus on their main
subjects
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,
this
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 is
according to
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 if
students
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' time and energy allow them to learn more additional
subjects
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 and
students
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 need to
do
Verb problem
make
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 a
decition
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decision
 more responsibly.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance your score in Coherence & Cohesion, ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical structure. Utilize linking words effectively to connect ideas and consider paragraphing to aid readability.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion must be clearly identifiable and succinctly encapsulate your main points. Reducing redundancy and reinforcing the central thesis in these areas without repetition will help score higher.
coherence cohesion
When presenting your main points, support them with appropriate explanations or evidence. Aim for depth over breadth in your examples, elaborating on a few key points rather than briefly mentioning many.
task achievement
For higher Task Achievement marks, ensure you provide a complete response to all parts of the prompt. Address the complexities of the subject thoroughly and provide a balanced review.
task achievement
Clarify and comprehensively develop your ideas. Ensure your examples are directly relevant to the topic and sufficiently detailed to substantiate your arguments.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples that are relevant to your arguments. Use these examples to illustrate your points clearly, and avoid being vague or overly general.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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