IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people’s #lives
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Science
 is a really important aim for
people
 to improve themselves and has given us so many things to learn . I agree with
this
 statement
,
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because it has helped us a lot in
life
 and at work . In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will explain why. First of all,
science
 has been there for
long
Change the article
a long
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 time and it’s improving
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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.
Science
 has played a significant role in reducing human suffering, especially in fields like medicine. Scientific research has contributed to improvements in healthcare that have resulted in the creation of treatments vaccines, and tests that have greatly increased in real
life
 for
people
. The health of
people
 and communities is directly benefited by
this
 use of scientific knowledge in real-world situations.
Science
 has provided us
great
Change preposition
with great
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 things .
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
science
 has helped us so much and
Although
 we know many topics that are related to
science
, we still have a long distance to achieve everything. Students can learn
science
 in school or university and learn how important
science
 is in real
life
 . In conclusion to improve
science
people
 must know how important is
science
 in real
life
 through school, university or social media . In
this
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
 we can improve our environment .
Submitted by mahshidmirzaei2016 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure the introduction sets out the main points clearly and offers a clear opinion on the topic.
Task Achievement
Develop paragraphs with a clear topic sentence and supporting details that expand on the main point with examples and explanations.
Task Achievement
Include a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your position clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize ideas logically, with clear progression and sequencing. Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on varying sentence structures to show your ability to express ideas in different ways and avoid repetition.
Coherence and Cohesion
Avoid ambiguous pronoun references or switch of ideas where the reader may get confused about what is being referred.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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