Social media has become a real problem for some young people today, and governments should create laws that allow only people over 18 years of age to have accounts. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Social media plays a vital role in everyone's life as it provides
latest
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the latest
show examples
information as soon as possible.A group of people opine that social networking
sites
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has
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have
show examples
negative
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a negative
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impact on youngsters and
authorities
Correct word choice
that authorities
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should not allow
juvenile
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the juvenile
a juvenile
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to have their accounts on social
sites
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. I agree
upto
Correct your spelling
to
some extent with
this
Linking Words
statement and I will explain the reasons in forthcoming paragraphs
along with
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a plausible conclusion. In
this
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21st
centurary
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century
,
internet
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the internet
show examples
is one of the basic
need
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needs
show examples
of all human beings because it provides all the information regarding what is happening in
thios
Correct your spelling
this
world.
For example
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, during the time of COVID-19, it was the only source to know what
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
happening outside their home as nobody was allowed to go out from their place.
Furthermore
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, it has many educational
sites
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,
those
Correct pronoun usage
that
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help individuals to gain knowledge about their studies as well.
For example
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, after the
pandamic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
got
Verb problem
was
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over, individuals
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
studying online and it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
just because of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
and some websites.
Additionlly
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Additionally
, it has many positive impacts on students
as well as
Linking Words
it helps them in their studies.
Foe
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For
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example,
internet
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the internet
show examples
is able to provide
solution
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solutions
show examples
for each and every problem
thst
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that
is happening in their studies
also
Linking Words
it provides notes for all current affairs for those who are preparing for government exams.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it helps to get
informstion
Correct your spelling
information
worldwide means it provides knowledge nationally
as well as
Linking Words
internationally
however
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, social media has some negative impacts as well.
For instance
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, it has many tips that make an
indicidual
Correct your spelling
individual
criminal as they
follows
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follow
show examples
them and many other bad fields.So, authorities should not ban youngsters
to make
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from making
show examples
account
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accounts
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but
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
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responsibility to let their kids know
wghat
Correct your spelling
what
is good and bad for them
in
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at
show examples
this
Linking Words
age.
To conclude
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,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
need not
to
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apply
show examples
ban anyone
to make
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from making
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
accounts but they should
put
Verb problem
provide
show examples
some instructions before making
a
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an
show examples
account
also
Linking Words
parents need to look after their kids
what
Correct word choice
and what
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they are
doingon
Correct your spelling
doing on
doing
social
sites
Use synonyms
all day and they should give phones for a limited time to their kids.
Submitted by soni.bhawna232 on

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Introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position. Avoid presenting examples or reasons in the introduction.
Position
Maintain a clear position throughout the essay. The position taken in the conclusion should match the one indicated in the introduction.
Main Points
Develop main points with specific examples or evidence. General statements should be supported with particular details to demonstrate their relevance and significance.
Cohesive Devices
Make better use of cohesive devices to structure your argument. Over- or underuse of conjunctions, pronouns, and lexical cohesion can affect the readability of the essay.
Paragraphing
Paragraphs should be logically organized with a clear central idea in each one. Avoid mixing ideas in a single paragraph which can lead to confusion and weakens coherence.
Vocabulary Range
Use a wider range of vocabulary to explain your ideas effectively. Repetitive or simplistic language can impact the clarity and depth of your argument.
Grammar and Spelling
Work on grammar and spelling accuracy to avoid errors that could disrupt communication of ideas. Frequent, repetitive errors can detract from the overall impression.
Task Response
Fully address all parts of the task. The response should not only state a position but also extend the discussion to relevant points that back up your views.
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