Social media has become a real problem for some young people today, and governments should create laws that allow only people over 18 years of age to have accounts. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Social media plays a vital role in everyone's life as it provides
latest
information as soon as possible.A group of people opine that social networking Change the article
the latest
sites
has
Change the verb form
have
negative
impact on youngsters and Add an article
a negative
authorities
should not allow Correct word choice
that authorities
juvenile
to have their accounts on social Add an article
the juvenile
a juvenile
sites
. I agree upto
some extent with Correct your spelling
to
this
statement and I will explain the reasons in forthcoming paragraphs along with
a plausible conclusion.
In this
21st centurary
, Correct your spelling
century
internet
is one of the basic Add an article
the internet
need
of all human beings because it provides all the information regarding what is happening in Fix the agreement mistake
needs
thios
world. Correct your spelling
this
For example
, during the time of COVID-19, it was the only source to know what is
happening outside their home as nobody was allowed to go out from their place. Wrong verb form
was
Furthermore
, it has many educational sites
, those
help individuals to gain knowledge about their studies as well. Correct pronoun usage
that
For example
, after the pandamic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
got
over, individuals Verb problem
was
start
studying online and it Wrong verb form
started
is
just because of Wrong verb form
was
internet
and some websites.
Correct article usage
the internet
Additionlly
, it has many positive impacts on students Correct your spelling
Additionally
as well as
it helps them in their studies. Foe
example, Correct your spelling
For
internet
is able to provide Add an article
the internet
solution
for each and every problem Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
thst
is happening in their studies Correct your spelling
that
also
it provides notes for all current affairs for those who are preparing for government exams.Moreover
, it helps to get informstion
worldwide means it provides knowledge nationally Correct your spelling
information
as well as
internationally however
, social media has some negative impacts as well. For instance
, it has many tips that make an indicidual
criminal as they Correct your spelling
individual
follows
them and many other bad fields.So, authorities should not ban youngsters Change the verb form
follow
to make
Change preposition
from making
account
but Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
its
their Replace the word
it's
it is
parents
responsibility to let their kids know Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
wghat
is good and bad for them Correct your spelling
what
in
Change preposition
at
this
age.
To conclude
, government
need not Add an article
the government
to
ban anyone Remove the word
apply
to make
Change preposition
from making
their
accounts but they should Correct pronoun usage
apply
put
some instructions before making Verb problem
provide
a
account Change the article
an
also
parents need to look after their kids what
they are Correct word choice
and what
doingon
social Correct your spelling
doing on
doing
sites
all day and they should give phones for a limited time to their kids.Submitted by soni.bhawna232 on
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Introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position. Avoid presenting examples or reasons in the introduction.
Position
Maintain a clear position throughout the essay. The position taken in the conclusion should match the one indicated in the introduction.
Main Points
Develop main points with specific examples or evidence. General statements should be supported with particular details to demonstrate their relevance and significance.
Cohesive Devices
Make better use of cohesive devices to structure your argument. Over- or underuse of conjunctions, pronouns, and lexical cohesion can affect the readability of the essay.
Paragraphing
Paragraphs should be logically organized with a clear central idea in each one. Avoid mixing ideas in a single paragraph which can lead to confusion and weakens coherence.
Vocabulary Range
Use a wider range of vocabulary to explain your ideas effectively. Repetitive or simplistic language can impact the clarity and depth of your argument.
Grammar and Spelling
Work on grammar and spelling accuracy to avoid errors that could disrupt communication of ideas. Frequent, repetitive errors can detract from the overall impression.
Task Response
Fully address all parts of the task. The response should not only state a position but also extend the discussion to relevant points that back up your views.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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